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by Daily_Scenarios



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Future Fic, M/M, Post Reunion 3.0, it's more fluff and reconnection tbh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-11
Updated: 2020-04-05
Packaged: 2021-02-27 09:01:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 22,111
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22214503
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Daily_Scenarios/pseuds/Daily_Scenarios
Summary: “You have no idea...” - sighed Robert as they lay in bed still breathing heavily. - “I missed you so much.” - he smiled with his eyes closed as Aaron rested his head on his chest. When he didn't answer Robert tried to look down to catch his eyes. He only saw Aaron's head flat against his chest, with his hand on his stomach, drawing small circles. - “What are ya doing?”“Listening to your heartbeat.” - said Aaron. His voice was barely a whisper. - “I've missed the sound of that.”Or...Robert's back and Aaron get both of them away from the village for the weekend... before they tell anyone that he's been released. They talk.
Relationships: Aaron Dingle/Robert Sugden
Comments: 103
Kudos: 218





	1. Chapter 1

He's been back for not even 2 days and Aaron still couldn't believe it. The morning after their reunion he woke up at 4am sharp, with the fear that it was all a dream. It wasn't. Robert was still awake... looking at him, which he didn't find strange at that time. He was busy feeling relieved that he didn't dream it, that Robert was actually there, physically and all.

They agreed to give themselves a couple of days... at least before dealing with the madness of their families. Luckily for Aaron Seb was at Vic's anyway, playing with Harry, having a sleepover, so when he said that he took on some extra jobs it wasn't suspicious. Nobody knew that Robert was back but Aaron. They also knew it was risky not to tell them straight away, but they didn't have the energy. Not now. They wanted just a few days for themselves before they let others in on this development.

So as bold as it sounded Aaron planned a nice little getaway. They packed in the middle of the night and drove away... nowhere far only just Hotten. Got a hotel room, and right after they settled in, Aaron sent a text to Vic, letting her know about what happened. He knew that it would be suspicious if he didn't demand to have Seb back the minute he opened his little eyes. They were always together, did everything together, Seb was literally a mini version of Aaron, and everybody knew that in the village. Him not rushing to get his son as soon as, would've been more than alarming. Not that the text said anything. “Please look after Seb for the weekend, I have stuff to sort out, it's important, I'm turning my phone off. Will be back on Sunday, and I come over to get him. Thanks.” It was short, well as short as he could be, and although he knew Vic will go mad, he sent it, turned his phone off then sat down on the bed next to Robert.

“Now what?” - asked Robert smiling. Aaron didn't waste any time to kiss him. They barely talked since he was back, but it wasn't important now. It could wait. What couldn't wait was the desire Aaron felt as he finally traced his fingertips through Robert's body.

* * *

“You have no idea...” - sighed Robert as they lay in bed still breathing heavily. - “I missed you so much.” - he smiled with his eyes closed as Aaron rested his head on his chest. When he didn't answer Robert tried to look down to catch his eyes. He only saw Aaron's head flat against his chest, with his hand on his stomach, drawing small circles. - “What are ya doing?”

“Listening to your heartbeat.” - said Aaron. His voice was barely a whisper. - “I've missed the sound of that.”

“You have?” - asked Robert surprised. Aaron raised his head as he sat up properly with his back against the headboard.

“How are ya?” - he asked instead of answering. They haven't talked about prison yet, and they knew they had to.

“I'm fine. Now.” - said Robert, even if he knew it wasn't enough of an answer.

“And now the honest answer?” - pressured Aaron.

“I'm really fine. Being here... being with you again.... feeling you...” - he trailed off – “It's all that I need.”

“I'm serious Robert.” - said Aaron looking into his eyes as he squeezed his hand. - “We need to talk about this stuff.”

“Can we do that later? I just wanna catch up with you.” - he smirked trying to change the topic... change the mood.

“We've been catching up for 2 days straight, we need to have words.”

“I know.” - he sighed giving up.

“So?”

“I'm scared.”

“Of what?”

“Of screwing it up? With you.... with Seb? Your family? They wanted you to move on...”

“Wait, hang on... how d'ya know that?”

“So they did.” - he said. He didn't really know but suspected and Aaron's reaction pretty much confirmed it. As soon as he knew that he gave it away Aaron averted his eyes to the floor. - “Hey, no... I... I kind of expected them to go with it.” - he smiled sadly.

“Robert... they knew.... they knew what we had... what we've always had... that it's... it's not something you can just go and forget about. Or replace. Yeah, they tried to stick their nose into my business but... I told them to back out. Eventually, they got it.”

“How long?” - he didn't need to ask Aaron knew exactly what he meant. _How long before they understood that it's not gonna change._

“Not long after I got Seb.”

“I feel so bad...”

“About what?”

“Not seeing Seb as soon as I arrived.”

“You said you wanted time to...”

“I know, it's just something I've been dreaming of for years now... and I've imagined it so many times in my head... every scenario... imagined how it would go... what he'd be like...”

“He's so perfect Robert.” - smiled Aaron softly – “He's so smart, and .. and he's kind... and he's curious... and wants to know everything” – he chuckled and Robert's eyes lit up as he listened to Aaron - “..... he likes cars, and he loves Top Gear.” - Robert only laughed at that. It gave Aaron a puzzled look – “What?”

“Nothing.” - he laughed again – “It's just... of course he loves Top Gear... he's your son.”

“Our son.”

“He's more your son than mine... knows you better. He doesn't know me.” - he said with a sad smile.

“ _OUR_ son.” - said Aaron correcting him again. - “And he knows all about you.” - he said and now it was Robert who looked away not being able to handle all the information. - “Obviously not... everything but he knows who you are, where were ya.... why you were there... he loves ya.”

“He doesn't even remember me.” - he said simply.

“Maybe, but I showed him pictures... loads. And whenever he wants to know something he asks and I try to answer. You're gonna see Robert, he's so brilliant, you're gonna be so proud.”

“I already am.” - he said before he leaned in to kiss Aaron. It's been too long since he's done that. Too long in his mind at least.

“You look tired.”

“I'm not.” - he said shaking his head but Aaron could see through him.

“You are, why don't you try to sleep?”

“Later, yeah?”

“Robert....”

“I can't sleep, Aaron.” - he said finally.

“You can't as in...”

“As in I tried but I just can't. Started in prison. Pretty early... around Christmas, the first year.” - he said and Aaron gasped. - “Not... not that I had a decent kip before... it just wasn't as bad.”

“But... that's....”

“5 years of sleep I won't ever get back yeah.” - he laughed.

“It's not funny.”

“No, it's not.” - said Robert with a straight face. - “But if I don't joke about it I cry and I don't really fancy doing that. We did it enough times when I knocked on your door.” - he pointed out.

“You can't go on like this though.”

“Tell you what? I try to sleep if you try it too. I'm not the only one who looks tired you know.” - he said and he was right.

“Deal.” - said Aaron because he really hoped it would help. And for a while.... it looked like it did.

* * *

They slept for hours, they both needed it, but around 8:45 in the morning Aaron jerked awake turning around in bed, because even though he could feel the weight of another body next to him he had to see.... to know that it's him. That it wasn't a dream.

“Thank god.” - he whispered.

“What?” - yawned Robert opening his eyes.

“Nothing, go back to sleep.”

“No, tell me what is it.” - he said

“I had a bad dream....” - he started, and Robert simply nodded for him to go on. - “Well, it wasn't really a dream... more like a feeling... I just... I had to know.”

“Know what?”

“That you're here? That you're really here. That it's not just a cruel joke.”

“Aaron... “

“Sorry.... this weekend was meant to be fun.”

“It still is. I wanna know about these stuff. I'm glad you told me. You think I don't have the same problems? I do. Aaron... I've dreamed about you for so long... I had so many vivid dreams that the first night we spent together I kept pinching myself just to be sure that it's not my mad hallucination.”

“God I missed ya so much.” - said Aaron unable to hold back his tears. He pulled Robert in for a tight hug and as uncomfortable as the angle was they didn't wanna let go.

“I missed you too.” - said Robert as he took a deep breath – “I missed your smell... missed feeling your stubble across my skin.” - he said as he stroked their cheeks together. - “You have no idea... no idea.”

“I don't wanna lose ya again.” - said Aaron as he failed to hold back another sob.

“You won't, you won't.” - said Robert stroking his back.

* * *

They spent the rest of the day in bed, ordering room service, Aaron trying to convince Robert to at least go down to the hotel bar. Robert didn't want to.

“We have to go back tomorrow afternoon. I have to pick up Seb.”

“I know.”

“And I can't hide you forever... I think Vic knows … at least knows that something is up, and let's face it it's not something I can just get away with.”

“You think they will be surprised?”

“About what, You being released?”

“No, I meant you and me.”

“You joking?” - scoffed Aaron.

“No, why would I?”

“Robert... if they haven't learned by now.... they are fools.”

“You could've been in a relationship for all I know.” - said Robert. He wanted to bring up the subject ever since Aaron let him through the door.

“Well, I'm not so...”

“I bet your mum loves it.” - he said sarcastically.

“She was.... okay she was a lot... for about a year... then she realized that arranging dates for me won't work.”

“She did what?”

“Tried. That's the keyword.” - told him Aaron.

“And you....”

“Do I look like someone who's after a relationship?” - he asked and Robert could've taken a step back if he wasn't horizontal. - “You know what I mean.” - added Aaron as he saw his face. - “I didn't want anyone... Nobody was good enough. They weren't you.” - he smiled touching his face.

“I'm not sure your reasoning went well with Chas.”

“Oh no, she was livid.” - laughed Aaron. - “And I couldn't care less. I just wanted to be a good dad to Seb... to make sure he knows about you. And just.... pray that one day you get in touch.”

“You would've waited...”

“I told ya on that visit. I didn't lie. I would've waited for 14 years. For you? I would've.”

“I don't deserve...”

“Shut up you do!”

“Aaron...”

“No, Robert you gotta see it the way I do. I love ya.”

“Still?” -he asked surprised as if the last couple of days weren't convincing enough.

“Yeah, you idiot. How could I ever stop?”

“I love you more.” - he said kissing him. - “What if they'll be against it?”

“Their problem.” - shrugged Aaron.

“But... they're your family.”

“My family is you... and Seb. You two come first and if they don't see... or accept that... they should know by now Robert.”

“Okay.” - he nodded.

“So... does this mean you're ready to come back home?”

“I do wanna see Seb... even if I'm dreading everything else... I wanna see him.”

“He'll be chuffed.” - smiled Aaron.

“You think?”

“I know.” - he told him. - “Robert?”

“Yeah?”

“Promise me one thing.”

“Anything.”

“After we get back and you have a bit of a catch up with Seb and Vic … you find a counsellor. For the insomnia.”

“Alright.” - he agreed.

“I mean it, it's important.” - repeated Aaron, Robert agreed too fast and he was worried he didn't mean it.

“I know Aaron, I know it's an issue... I wanna get better. If you'll help me...”

“You know I will.” - he reassured him. - “One more thing.” - he said biting his lip. Robert just kept looking at him waiting for him to finally spit it out. - “Surrogacy. I still want it, Robert.”

“You.... you do? “- he asked overwhelmed.

“We were planning a future... of course I still want that.”

“Even …”

“Even with everything that's happened, yeah.” - said Aaron interrupting him. - “If you still want to...”

“I do.” - said Robert grinning like a fool.

“Not before we find a solution to the sleepless nights.”

“Okay, but after we sort that out...”

“We try it?” - asked Aaron.

“Yeah.” - nodded Robert.

“You don't think it's too fast do ya?” - asked Aaron hesitating a bit.

“Aaron we had a 5-year long set back. It's time. I want it too... I just... I never even hoped that you...”

“A baby with you.... you know how much I want that. Seb's a big boy now, I just... it was always my dream.”

“Always?”

“Yeah. And after you went away... “ - he didn't dare say the word – “I thought it's always gonna be just that... a dream... along with with the rest of my future... everything I wanted with you... all the things we've dreamt about...”

“We're gonna make it Aaron. You know I want nothing more.” - smiled Robert as Aaron brushed away the tears from his eyes before he kissed him again. They were never as affectionate as they were now. And they didn't even care. They were back in each other's arms and after 5 years, this was exactly the place they both wanted to be. Because for them, this was home.


	2. Chapter 2

“How was the driving?” - asked Aaron as Robert parked his car in front of the Mill. He asked if Robert wanted to give it a go after 5 years. He knew how much he loved driving. Robert practically jumped at the opportunity. He was grinning the whole time. They also spared like 15 minutes with the way he drove.

“Excellent.” - he sighed while he touched the steering wheel. - “I missed it, thank you.”

“You don't have to thank me.” - smiled Aaron. - “It's good to see you happy.” 

“I really am.” - he said before he frowned.

“What?”

“I just... I have a feeling this won't go as smooth as you want it to be.”

“Alright, how about... we go inside, for now, I turn my phone back on...”

“God help us.” - he whispered it earned a side glance from Aaron.

“It's gonna be fine. Come on, here... the keys.” - he said as he gave them to Robert. His face was a picture. Confused, happy, overwhelmed. - “What? You still remember how to use a key right?” - teased Aaron. They both knew what this meant, but right now neither of them wanted to talk about it. They had enough to deal with.

“You think he's gonna like it?” - asked Robert just before he opened the door. They stopped in a toy shop because he wanted to get something for Seb. Aaron said he loved cars, and even though he was almost 7 – in a couple of weeks – Robert couldn't resist to buy a medium-sized plush car. The one you can use as a pillow if you want to.

“Believe me he's gonna be over the moon.” - he said and he meant it. Seb loved everything, he wasn't a very demanding child, Aaron got lucky on that front. They only had time to drop their bag in the corner, and as soon as Aaron switched his phone back on... - getting all the 26 text messages and 38 missed calls, - someone started banging on the front door.

“Well, this was fast.” - said Robert bracing himself.

“Let's get this over and done with.” - told him Aaron, as he passed him to get to the door. Before he stepped out he turned back to look at him. - “Oi! Don't forget, whatever happens, I'm on your side.” - he said to him and all Robert could do is smile at him. Even if it was a weak one. 

“He's back then?” - this was the sentence his mother opened with before she stormed in, leaving Aaron surprised and without words at the door. - “I knew it.” - she said shaking her head. Aaron was there to question her right away though.

“You knew what?” 

“That he must be the reason you disappeared from the face of Earth.... leaving Seb...”

“I didn't leave him! I told Vic I had summat to sort out.”

“Him?!” - she said pointing at Robert. She was talking about him like he wasn't even there.

“Hello, Chas.” - said Robert finally. 

“Don't you dare play nice with me.” - she said. - “What are you doing here?” 

“You what?” - it was Aaron who stepped in front of his mum, blocking her way to Robert. - “What do you mean what is he doing here? It's his home!”

“Is it?” - she said and Robert didn't even look at their direction. He stared at the floor instead. - “He left you luv.” 

“No... it wasn't like that.”

“He left you... and don't you remember the state you were in?” - she asked. At that, Robert did look up. Right at Aaron. Aron knew it was something they haven't talked about. He tried to play it cool, but he knew Robert will definitely have questions after this. 

“That... that was years ago.”

“Exactly luv! I thought you were gonna move on.”

“Move on? Are you for real?” - he asked with a bittersweet laughter. Chas didn't say a word. - “How could I mum? How? You know I love him right?” - Robert's heart skipped a beat even if he knew all about Aaron's feelings. Getting to hear that it hasn't changed after 5 years... it was still something he had to get used to. 

“Aaron...” - tried Chas. 

“No, you need to listen. I love him. Nobody else, just him. I thought you knew that.”

“I thought you just needed a bit more time....”

“Time for what? It's not something I can just forget.” - he said lecturing his mother. 

“Aaron, maybe I should...” - started Robert signalling to the door. He wanted to leave them to it. 

“Good idea.” - said Chas.

“No, you're staying.” - said Aaron at the same time. He moved closer to Robert grabbing his hand to stop him going. - “Please stay, I want you to.” - he said only focusing on Robert. He nodded, and Aaron looked back to his mum. His hand remained holding Robert's – “Look mum, he's back, yeah I know I wasn't coping with things after he went..... but... he's here now.”

“I won't go anywhere.” - said Robert. He wanted Aaron to know that he had no intention of leaving. Not ever. 

“I just don't want you to get hurt sweetheart.”

“Chas I wouldn't...”

“You! You promised to keep him safe more than once.” - she said pointing at him. It felt like a threat. - “Then you pushed him away the first chance you got.” 

“I thought I was going to be in prison for 14 years. 14 YEARS CHAS! Don't you think it would've been selfish of me wanting him to wait for me? I'm sure you can see where I'm coming from here.” - he said because Chas had to understand why he did what he did 5 years ago. - “I promised the best life for him, I wanted the best life for him... I still do.”

“And that's with you?” - she snorted. 

“Yeah, it is, if I have anything to do with it.” - said Aaron interrupting their little chat. - “Just... please mum, I'm happy for the first time in 5 years, that's gotta count for something.” 

“What about Seb?” - she asked.

“What about him? I'm gonna go over to Vic's and bring him home.” 

“You think that's a good idea?” 

“He knows all about Robert. I never lied to that lad, he loves his dad. You know that.”

“I know luv.” - said Chas with a soft smile. Seemed like Seb was a topic that could melt even her heart. 

“I would really appreciate if you weren't slagging his dad off when he gets here.” - said Aaron before another knock on the door disturbed them. He sighed but went to let in whoever was outside. He kind of had a suspicion that it would be Vic.

“Hey, I left you dozens of texts!” - she said while Seb just stood there next to Vic before he went to hug his dad.

“Where were you Daddy I missed you.” - he said. Aaron picked him up in his arms to get him inside as he tried to think of a reasonable explanation that was enough for a 6-year-old. It didn't matter though he's gonna see it soon anyway. 

“Sorry mate.” - said Aaron talking to Seb as he looked at Vic – “I have something for ya inside.” - he told the boy.

“Really? What is it?” - he asked excited while Vic followed them inside being a bit confused. First, she saw Chas... then she saw Robert... just standing there. 

“Hi, Seb.” - smiled Robert as Aaron let Seb go, to allow him to step closer to Robert – “Do you know who I am?” - Seb looked at Aaron before he gave him a nod.

“Yeah. I saw pictures of ya, Daddy told me stories. You're my dad, right?” - he asked and Robert couldn't believe it. Suddenly he felt every emotion hitting him all at the same time, but he didn't want to cry.

“Robert.” - gasped Vic once she found her voice. The next thing Robert knew he was wrapped in a hug and his sister was hanging onto him for dear life. - “Are you really here?”- she asked.

“Yeah, I missed you too.” - he smiled as she finally let him go. As soon as he was free he knelt down in front of Seb who just looked at him with his big green eyes. Robert felt like he was looking into a mirror. - “You've grown so much.” - he said mainly to himself. - “You were a baby when I last saw ya.”

“I'm almost 7!” - he said with his head held high.

“Yeah, I know.” -chuckled Robert - “I … erm... I got something for ya.” - he smiled at the boy as he handed over the pillow he bought for him.

“Buying his love with toys... original.” - huffed Chas, but a glance from Aaron and she shut up.

“D'ya like it?” - asked Robert trying to ignore Chas and her stare.

“Yeah, it's cool.” - smiled Seb. - “Daddy said you had to go away... and that you're not gonna be home for a long time. Will you go away again?”

“No, no mate, I'm here to stay.”

“Forever?” - he asked surprised and as Robert shared a looked with Aaron they both chuckled. 

“Yeah, if your Daddy wants me.” - answered Robert as his eyes stayed on Aaron. Seb quickly looked at him too, waiting for his answer. 

“Course I want that.” - he smiled. Chas didn't dare say a word, she knew it would be useless. 

“Can I...” - started Robert – “Can I get a hug?” - he asked from Seb. The boy just went over and reached out his arms so Robert could wrap him in a tight hug. Seb couldn't see it because his little head was buried in Robert's shoulder, but the rest of them saw the tears rolling down on Robert's face as he smiled before he closed his eyes for a moment. He could finally hug his little boy after 5 years, there was no other feeling that could compare to this. 

“Are you crying?” - asked Seb when he saw Robert wiping his eyes.

“No, buddy, I'm just happy to see ya.”

“Is he gonna live here with us?” - he asked Aaron. 

“If he wants to, he built this house you know.” - told him Aaron.

“You did?” - asked Seb turning back to Robert. 

“Yeah, well I had people to do it, but the design is my doing.” 

“I like the stairs.” - smiled Seb. It gave Robert the impression this was a topic they argued a lot about with Aaron. 

“Course you do.” - said Vic – “Your Dad loves it as well.” - she laughed – “Remember when you fell down?”

“Maybe... leave this story for another time ey?” - said Aaron not wanting to bring up the past.

“Why don't we go back to the pub? I buy ya a round... lunch as well if you want to. And you gotta meet Harry.” - offered Vic. Aaron saw Robert tense at the idea. They haven't really talked about it but he had a feeling that after 5 years big crowds and people in general might be a bit too much for him. 

“How about, I open a few cans here?” - said Aaron as he went over to Robert and patted him on the shoulder. Robert smiled at him. It was a thank you. - “And we can get pizza.” - he said looking at his son. Seb's eyes lit up at the sound of that.

“Pizza??? YAY!”

“You can bring Harry over.” - said Aaron as he looked at Vic.

“Yeah alright, when the pizza's here I go and get him.” - she smiled. 

“You're spoiling him.” - said Chas. 

“He's my son I can treat him every once in a while.” - snapped Aaron. - “It's a special occasion. You can either stay or go.” - he added lowering his voice. He didn't want Seb to hear it. 

“A word please.” - said Chas – “In private.” - she said before Aaron could get a word out. 

“Oi Seb!” - he said to the boy – “Why don't you get the number for the pizza then choose what you want, alright? Then your Dad can order.” - he looked at Robert. - “Auntie Vic will give you some juice, okay? I just have a chat with Nana.”

“Okay.” - he said cheerfully too caught up in recent events to sense the tension in the room. Not like Robert who desperately wanted to be there for Aaron, but for now, he knew he just had to stay here with Seb and Vic and just engage in idle chat. He could do that. Even if his thoughts were miles away.... with Aaron. 

Aaron walked outside with his mum, closing the door, to make sure nobody would disturb them. - “Alright get on with it.” - he sighed as he put his hands in his pocket.

“Aaron luv I just want the best for you.... and Seb.”

“And what? You think I want him to be miserable?” - he scoffed.

“No, course not but... Robert... again?”

“He's his father.”

“He just got ba....”

“Mum, I love him.” - he said not letting her finish.

“I know you do, but sometimes it's... it doesn't work out.” 

“We broke up because he went to prison. TO PRISON! And I know I didn't see it or understand it at that time, but he wanted the best for me. I mean after Rebecca... I got a letter saying that I'm Seb's legal guardian. Robert did that. From inside. Do you think that's someone who doesn't give a shit about his son? Or me?”

“I just know how hard it was for you luv that's all.”- said Chas.

“Yeah, it was. It was hard.” - he agreed. - “Because I didn't have him here with me. When he's with me, I can cope with anything. Mum please just... if you can't support me...”

“You know I can!”

“Then just back off. Let me deal with my life the way I want to.” - he said. He saw his mother mulling it over in her head – “As long as he walks the earth... it's always gonna be him.” - he said shrugging. - “Nobody will ever come close.” 

“Have you even talked about what's happened? It's not like he can just pop back like nothing's happened.”

“Yeah, we did talk. Not about everything, it's been only a few days, but we're getting there. I know what I'm doing. And he doesn't want to just pop back.” - he said – “You know how scared he is?” - Chas didn't answer – “He was dreading meeting him again. To see you lot. I don't think he can cope with big crowds. He needs time, and I'm gonna give it to him.”

“I just want you to be sure luv.” - she said stroking his cheek. 

“I am sure.” - he nodded. - “Do you wanna come back inside? Only... if you play nice with him, I mean it, mum. I can't have you mouthing him off.” 

“Alright, I try. I might slip up a few times... but I try.” - she said before they went back. 

* * *

Pizza was a great idea, and as it turned out – not that Aaron didn't know this for years now – Seb had the same taste as Robert when it came to pizza. It was so good to see them just bond. Robert was obviously over the moon that Seb seemed to like him, and Aaron was glad that it went well for both of them. Later Vic came back with Harry and Robert found common ground with him in no time. There was a point where the three of them – Robert Seb and Harry – were all sitting on the floor playing with cars and Aaron just watched them from the kitchen with Vic and his mum. They didn't talk about Robert, he knew they were both dying to ask questions but he was clear on that front. They all needed a bit of space.

When it was bedtime for Harry, Vic left, and not long after, Chas was ready to grab her coat as well. To their surprise, she turned to Seb while she put her scarf around her neck. - “How about a sleepover at ours Seb?” - she asked looking at the boy. Aaron and Robert looked at each other before they stared at Chas.

“But... my Dad's just got back.” - he said and Robert's heart melted straight away. It was the first time Seb referred to him as his Dad, not counting the part when Robert asked him if he knew who he was.

“I know darling but I reckon your dads have a bit of catching up to do, you know boring adult stuff.” - she said gesturing with her hand.

“I will be here tomorrow as well.” - said Robert to his son. - “If you were worried about that.”

“Really? You won't just disappear or leave before I get back?” - he asked. 

“No, I promise you okay. I'll be here. And then you can show me all your favorite toys, or video games, anything, yeah?” 

“And can I ask questions?” - he said. Robert knew this would come, he already expected it. 

“Yeah, of course, you can. Whatever you like.” - smiled Robert. 

“Is it really okay if I go?” - he asked Aaron this time. 

“Yeah course it is mate, I go and grab your Pjs alright?” 

“Don't worry luv I sort it, come on Seb, let's pick out some toys as well.” - said Chas as she took his hand to go upstairs to his room. Ten minutes later Robert and Aaron were alone. 

“He took that pillow with him.” - smiled Robert. He was proud of himself that much was clear.

“Told ya, he loves it.”

“Thank you.” - he said turning to Aaron as they sat on the sofa. 

“For what?” 

“Not pushing this whole going out thing.” 

“I figured it would be tricky.”

“I mean... I'm not sure... maybe it would be fine... but...” 

“You'd rather not risk it, yeah I thought.” 

“You know me so well.... even after all this time.” 

“Course I do, you idiot.” - smiled Aaron as he patted his thigh. - “We need to talk about a lot of things.”

“Do you really meant it when you said I'm gonna live here?” 

“Wow start with the deep end why don't ya.” - laughed Aaron. When Robert didn't join him he looked at him to let him know he means what he's about to say - “Robert... this is your home. Course I did.” 

“I mean it's not too fast right? For Seb... for us...”

“No. You were right, we've waited enough. I know we will never get back those 5 years but... I wanna try and make up for everything.” 

“I should be the one making up for things.” - he mumbled not wanting to look at Aaron. 

“Oi, look at me. I know it's gonna be challenging okay? But we always did well. You and me.” - he said smiling at him. It earned a weak smile from Robert. Aaron took it as a victory. 

“People will talk.” - he sighed.

“I don't care.”

“I might not be able to go to the pub with you... or even the cafe.”

“I'm not rushing ya. I'd rather stay at home with you than go to the pub anyway.”

“What if I'll have a nightmare when Seb is home and it freaks him out?”

“This is the reason you can't sleep?” 

“No... it's just... I just thought about it.”

“We're gonna deal with it. Remember how you were there for me when I needed it?”

“Yeah, it's not the same though.”

“No it's not, but you did your best then, and I'm gonna do my best now. Alright?” 

“I just don't want him to be afraid of me.”

“Robert, he's a smart kid, got your genes right?” - joked Aaron to make him smile. - “We're gonna sit down with him, have a chat, I never left him in the darkness about stuff. I always tried to be as honest as I can... I wanna keep doing that.”

“Okay. What about Liv?” - he asked suddenly. They briefly talked about how she's in University now. She took a year off last year to study abroad and now she came back for her final year. Aaron was so proud, just as proud as Robert.”

“She knows.” - said Aaron simply. 

“What? When?” 

“The first night we spent at the hotel. I texted her. Just... giving her the short version. You're back, we're together you know. She was happy, she wanted me to tell ya.” - Robert chuckled at Aaron's summary, he was never a man of many words.

“So we're together now. What does that make me.... you're boyfriend... husband.... what are we, Aaron?”

“As far as I reckon I never signed any papers. I was tempted to.” - he said with a short laugh – “But I never got through with it. I thought maybe after the 5 years were up you might take actions... but instead, you came back to me.” - he said stroking his cheek. - “We are married. That's what we are.” - he said answering Robert's question - “You're my husband, Robert.” - he said before Robert leaned in to kiss him. Just a little peck on the lips nothing more. 

“Can I have my ring back? If you still got it.” - he asked. He wasn't sure he was ready to hear that Aaron chucked them out, he hoped he didn't.

“Wait a sec.” -he said leaving him as he ran upstairs. A few seconds later he came back and he had the rings in his hand.

“I have dejavu.” - smiled Robert as Aaron slipped the ring back on Robert's finger. 

“Well yeah, at least we're never boring.” - laughed Aaron while Robert placed the ring into its place. With the first move, Aaron twisted it with his fingers with a soppy smile on his face. It made Robert chuckle. - “What?” - he asked confused. 

“I missed that.” - he said pointing to his hand. - “You, playing with your ring. I missed that. I missed wearing it too.” - he sighed. 

“You can't take it off ever again, you hear me.” - it sounded like a threat. It wasn't really. 

“I wouldn't dare.” - he answered smiling. 


	3. Chapter 3

They talked. A lot. Then went to bed. Talked some more. They kissed. They kissed a lot. But it didn't go anywhere. It wasn't that kind of built up, but it was still nice. And after all this misery, nice sounded perfect.

Aaron turned around in bed and slowly opened his eyes. He almost drifted back to sleep right away, but he felt like something was missing. Robert didn't kick him once, and as he reached out his hand he understood why. He wasn't in bed next to him. As he sat up, he saw a faint light coming from downstairs so he put on a robe and walked down the stairs as he tried to stop a yawn.

“What are ya doing?” - he asked from Robert. He found him sitting in the kitchen with a glass of water. 

“I was thirsty.” - he shrugged. There was clearly more to it. 

“Come back to bed.” - yawned Aaron as he patted his shoulder. He turned back but soon realized that Robert wasn't following him. - “Alright what is it?” - he asked going back to sit opposite him. He reached out his hand for Robert to hold it. It made him smile as he felt him squeeze it straight away. 

“I can't sleep Aaron, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't. Go back, I'll be alright.” - he smiled. 

“No, we're a team. I just got you back, you think I would leave you to it?” 

“It's not that far... just a couple of metres.” - chuckled Robert. 

“You know what I mean.” 

“Yeah, I know. Still... Don't tire yourself out because of me.”

“Too late, I'm awake now.” - he said as he took a deep breath. 

“I wanna ask so many questions...”

“You can. You know you can.” - reassured him Aaron. 

“I'm just afraid... “

“Of what?” 

“Of knowing the answers.” - he said finally staring in front of him. That's when Aaron knew what he wanted to know. What he was so afraid to ask. Robert wanted to know if there were any men in his life since he wasn't home. And Aaron was right. Robert was desperate to know it, but he felt like he had no right to ask that kind of question. 

“Robert, look at me please.” - said Aaron quietly. - “It was hard okay.”

“What your mum said... it sounded bad.”

“It was.” - answered Aaron. He didn't wanna lie. He decided that the minute Robert walked through the door after 5 years. 

“If I had known...” 

“You wanted....” - he sighed – “You wanted to give me the best option. It's such a shame it never even occurred to you that the best option for me... for my happiness … is you. Always has been.” 

“Aaron...”

“No Robert you're here now and you can't shut me out. You need to hear this.” - he said grabbing both of Robert's hands – “You. Are. Worth. It. You hear me?” - Robert couldn't look at him, couldn't do anything really. He closed his eyes letting the teardrops fall quietly. - “You were always my whole life Robert, I wanted to be there for ya. Through everything. I know you think I deserve... more or whatever, but you're wrong. I deserve you, and you deserve me. Simple as that.” - that's when Robert finally looked up at him – “This time for life, ey?”

“Yeah.” - he managed to choke out. - “How do you not hate me?”

“Believe me I tried.” - scoffed Aaron leaning back on the chair. - “I wanted to... I thought I did... turned out I was wrong. Because every time I closed my eyes at night, there you were. No matter how much I drank, what I did to try and forget it. You were always there.”

“I thought about you every day.” - said Robert suddenly – “I know people always say this but... imagining your face... it was my reality for 5 years. You have no idea how many hours I spent just looking at those photos I had on the wall.”

“You... you put them up?”

“Single-cell.” - told him Robert. - “But even if it wasn't... “ - he trailed off. 

“Robert?” - said Aaron but his tone suggested it was more of an ask. 

“Yeah.”

“Did something happen in prison? I mean... 5 years … that's a lot.”

“You mean if I got beaten up?” - he laughed. - “Course I had.” - Aaron only winced at the sound of that. - “Not too many times but it happened. Mostly after the transfer.”

“When you decided that I shouldn't bother to visit ya.” - snapped Aaron. He didn't mean to but it was a touchy subject. 

“I'm sorry but I didn't want you to see me like that. And I wanted you to have a fresh start.”

“YOU WERE MY HUSBAND ROBERT! I DIDN'T NEED A FRESH START.”

“I'm sorry.”

“No.. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to shout.”

“You have every right...” 

“No, I said I'm gonna listen, and I want to. Was there more to it? To the beatings I mean.” 

“No... not that.” - Robert knew immediately what Aaron was referring to. 

“Thank god.” - whispered Aaron.

“Have you...” - Robert didn't dare to finish the sentence but from the way he eyes up Aaron's stomach, he could pretty much guess the question. 

“No... I really haven't.” - he said because he felt like a simple no wasn't enough. - “I went to counselling.... eventually. After Seb... I mean when they decided that he was better off without me.” 

“I'm so sorry you had to go through that. I never thought... they had no right...”

“Yeah, I know.” - he sighed. - “I was so angry.... and hurt. I missed him so much when he wasn't here.” - he said with teary eyes.

“But you got him back.”

“Yeah, but I went through hell before that.”

“I'm sorry.”

“Stop saying sorry!”

“But I feel like it's my fault.”

“What, that she was a cow?” - he scoffed. He knew he shouldn't speak ill of the dead but at this point, he didn't really care.

“Seb is a great kid.” - smiled Robert. - “You were right, he's so smart...”

“And he has the same smirking face as you do when he's up to no good.” - laughed Aaron.

“Was it hard?” - he asked suddenly. - “To tell him I mean.”

“The first couple of times were tricky. Rebecca said nothing to him, poor lad kept asking loads of questions but had nothing back, I had so many conversations with him... but he got it.”

“Course he did.”

“He missed ya.”

“He did?”

“Yeah, he used to tell me.” - said Aaron with a weak smile.

“I knew he'd be safe with you.” - said Robert before they went quiet all of a sudden. 5 minutes later they were chatting on the couch. Figured it would be more comfortable.

“What are we gonna do now?” - asked Aaron as he felt Robert's fingers slip between his.

“I have no plan Aaron. Just take it day by day I guess.” - he shrugged as he kept looking at their joined hands.

“What you said about the surrogacy....”

“I do want it. More than anything, you know that.” - said Robert as he turned towards Aaron.

“I know, but we have more important things before we get to do that.”

“You're right, I have no idea what's happened to the business.” - said Robert – “And we need to talk to Seb... God, he's in school right? I missed so much.” - he said sadly.

“Oi, look at me. You're here now. I'm gonna show you every picture, every video... Seb's gonna tell you everything... more than once probably.” - he chuckled before he caught Robert yawning. - “Come on why don't we go back to bed?” - he nodded towards the stairs, ready to stand up.

“Can we... can we stay here?” - asked Robert. His voice was almost broken and Aaron knew there was more to it.

“Course we can.” - he agreed quickly. - “Why don't ya lie down?” - he said patting his own thighs as an invitation so Robert could lean his head on them. Eventually, he did. The minute he got comfortable Aaron started stroking his hair.

“What if I'll have a nightmare?”

“Did you have them inside?”

“Sometimes.”

“How did you deal with them?”

“I didn't.” - he smiled. It was a fake one. - “It's not a dream right?” - he asked as he looked up at Aaron. Right into his eyes.

“No. I promise.”

“Will you wake me if I start screaming?”

“You think you will?”

“Maybe. I don't know.”

“Course I will.”

“I'm so tired.” - he yawned again.

“I know. Come on close your eyes.” - urged Aaron. Robert did but in the meantime, he reached out his hand, curled it behind Aaron's head and pulled him down for a kiss. Aaron went with it. - “What was that for?” - he asked when Robert finally let him go.

“Because I can.” - he shrugged with closed eyes. That's when Aaron knew that they will be alright.


	4. Chapter 4

“And can I call him Daddy?” - asked Seb in a hushed voice. Robert was ready to go down the stairs when he heard them talking. He woke up to an empty bed, and at first, it bothered him, but then he read Aaron's note about him getting Seb home, and he knew they must be in the kitchen. So he headed down and heard them talking. 

“Course you can mate, he is your dad, you know that right?” - said Aaron as he ruffled his hair.

“I know I just wasn't sure he'd like that.” - he shrugged his little shoulders.

“He's gonna be so happy.” - smiled Aaron.

“Really?”

“Yeah, I know. Come on, we need to go to school soon.” - told him, Aaron, as he started to clean up.

“Why is he not awake yet?”

“Because he's tired mate, he's gonna be here when you come home, alright? Then we're gonna have a chat.”

“And I can ask stuff?”

“Yeah, course you can.” - answered Aaron. Robert was still listening and he was in awe to see how smoothly their morning routine went. He shook himself from his daydream before he finally made it downstairs. 

“Hey, good morning.” - he smiled at them.

“Hi, Daddy.” - smiled Seb. Aaron was right, Robert did love the sound of that. He saw him quickly wiping his eyes, still not used to being referred to as someone's dad.

“Hiya, did you have a nice time at Nana Chas?” - asked Robert as he took a seat. Aaron passed him a plate, while he stroked his arm. They shared a smile before Robert turned his attention back to his son who started chatting about his sleepover. 

“Okay mate, you need to get your bag alright? It's in your room, I packed it for ya.” - he said while he handed a mug of coffee to Robert. He was so not used to being served like this after 5 years that for a long second or two he just stared at Aaron. Until he heard Seb talking.

“But we always pack it together.” - pouted Seb.

“I know but there's no time for it now and you were at Nana's yesterday. We pack it together tonight alright? Daddy will help, won't ya?” - asked Aaron looking at Robert. 

“Yeah.. .erm... yeah course I will. You have to show me everything though.” - he said to Seb.

“Alright. And you can help me with my homework?”

“Yeah course.” - nodded Robert.

'He's so good at math.” - added Aaron.

“Really? Daddy's rubbish.” - he whispered to Robert who only chuckled.

“Oi, I heard that!” - said Aaron smiling. It made Seb giggle before he ran upstairs to get his bag. 

“He called me Daddy.” - said Robert as soon as they were alone. 

“He wasn't sure you'd want that.”

“Of course I do!” 

“That's what I told him.”

“You're gonna drop him off?” -he asked sipping on his coffee. 

“Yeah... I don't want him to take the bus and... he's still a little kid.” 

“Yeah I agree... if you don't mind I'm not gonna tag along.”

“No, it's alright, why don't you take a shower or something?” - suggested Aaron.

“Good idea.”

* * *

After that shower, Robert got a text from Aaron telling him how he needed to check on a deal at the scrapyard because the client called him while he said goodbye to Seb, so there will be at least another hour before he comes back home.

That's when Robert decided to grab his coat and march over to the pub. He didn't plan it, it was just something that clearly bothered him since yesterday and as nice as it was from Chas to have Seb for the night, he knew he needed to talk to her. Without Aaron.... in private.

“Robert...” - said Chas surprised when she opened the door and found him at her doorstep. Safe to say she didn't expect him. 

“We need to talk.” - he said before he passed through her, not even waiting for an invitation. Chas wanted to tell him how she doesn't approve his attitude but she couldn't because Robert started talking the second she appeared in the room. - “I handed myself in... willingly... so he could have a good life. So he could move on... by the sound of it you weren't much of a help.”

“You what? How dare you!”

“How dare I? Chas, I told you to look after him!”

“And we did... but you cut contact you have no idea what state he was in.... for months... for years really.”

“I only went with it so he can have some kind of future... I thought I was going to be there for 14 years!”

“So you pushed him away and thought what? That he just moves on like nothing's happened? I was worried sick for so long.... because.... because before he got Seb back.... he was just so.... reckless. I was honestly afraid to lose him.” 

“You don't know how to deal with him.” - said Robert and the anger kept boiling in Chas. 

“Me? You have no right to talk to me like that....”

“Well then, what did you do? To help him? What did you say? Curse my name I imagine.” - he scoffed. 

“Good to see your nasty attitude haven't changed a bit.”

“I'm serious Chas. You know it's not the way to tell him anything.”

“I know! But I was mad at you too. For not talking to him... for not doing anything. That divorce letter... you crushed him, Robert.” 

“That was the point. So he would hate me and give up on me.” 

“Are you mad? Looks like you don't know him either.” - told him Chas. She had a point. 

“I just... I've never wanted something more than him to be happy.”

“You knew how much he loved you..... “ - she said and at that, Robert averted his eyes – “He still does...” - sighed Chas. - “Because no matter what... you're always gonna be the one.” - Robert didn't want to believe that all of this came from the woman who appears to hate him. 

“I love him. I never stopped. He knows....”

“Does he?” - asked Chas quickly. - “He had an awful 5 years. With Seb it was better, he actually smiled every now and again. But it wasn't the same. Why haven't you contacted him after Rebecca at least?”

“I wanted to... god I wanted to. He was all I could think about. Every day... every night...” - he said finally sitting down on the couch. - “But I didn't want to ruin it for him. I didn't know if he was still around... or moved on with someone...” 

“Come on Robert don't be boring.”

“I know how it sounds but... inside those 4 walls... people go mad Chas. I almost did. Look...” - he said and Chas felt like it might be something important. - “Aaron doesn't know... and I don't want him to... but... for 2 years I took medication.”

“For what?” 

“Depression. Exhaustion. Insomnia... take your pick. I lost it.”

“Robert...”

“No, I don't want your pity that's not... it's not why I'm telling you. I just... maybe it's gonna be hard to just settle. I'm gonna try and I know Aaron wants to be there for me but... promise me that you won't let him drive himself to the ground. I'll try to keep my eye on him but, I can't promise I'll always be able to do it.”

“Is it that bad? Your health I mean.” - she asked and she sounded worried for the first time since Robert saw her again. 

“I don't wanna lie to you... I might play the hard man to Aaron though. I don't wanna worry him. I just... I just know how it was when I was inside. And I can't promise it's gonna be a walk in the park to get back how things were.”

“Nobody expects you to do that Robert.”

“But I don't wanna put pressure on him Chas... just... just promise me you take him out every once in a while... Seb too... I just... I don't want him to overthink it.”

“I'm sure he'd understand if you'd tell him all of this.”

“Maybe... but maybe he would think I don't want his help... or I'm too proud to ask for it. I'm not, I know I can't do this on my own... but I don't want him exhausted over this. We have Seb to think about.”

“How's he? Asked you questions yet?”

“No, Aaron took him to school, but when he's home we're gonna have a chat.” - at that Chas nodded at him. 

“I'm sorry.... for lashing out when I first saw you.”

“I know you didn't expect it...”

“Oh no, I really did.” - she laughed. 

“What?” 

“I mean from the top of my head you being released was really the first one I thought of after Vic showed me the text Aaron sent her.” 

“We didn't plan it...”

“I know.” - she smiled. - “I just want you to know that no matter how much he tried to hide it, he had it tough.” 

“I never thought he didn't.” 

“Have you got a counsellor yet?”

“No, I start looking after I get home. The bloke inside was pretty good but he's only available for inmates. He did suggest someone though.”

“Well …” - said Chas as she took a couple of steps further away from Robert and closer to the table to have her bag. - “I have a name as well, in case you needed it.” - she said as she found the paper with the information.

“For me?” - asked Robert surprised. 

“No need to act so surprised Robert. I was maybe a bit short with you but after 5 years what did you expect? I do know how much Aaron loves ya... and I have no intention of starting a fight. I learned it years ago...when it comes to you I'd always lose every fight.” 

“Chas...” 

“No, it's not a dig, well... not anymore.” - she said with a short smile. 

“So... does this mean we're fine?” - asked Robert confused. 

“We're getting there.”

* * *

Aaron came home not long after Robert got back. They agreed with Chas that they wouldn't let him know about their new-found agreement. They spent the day doing nothing really. Aaron told him village gossip, told him about the business, and Robert was happy to just listen. Neither of them wanted to get into the heavy stuff... they gotta start it when Seb's home anyway.

Robert offered to cook, and Aaron couldn't say no to that. He missed that so much.

“It's gonna be ready by the time you're back with him.” - said Robert checking on the chicken.

“Good, that's his favorite.”

“Really?”

“Yeah I tried to do it, and at first I was horrible, but I think I can make it pretty decent now.” - he said. He sounded so proud and Robert couldn't help but smile at him.

Dinner was indeed ready when Aaron got home with Seb, and after him telling them about his day, he started asking all kinds of questions.

“Alright mate slow it down.” - chuckled Aaron. - “One question at a time alright? Let him answer first.” - he said looking at Robert's direction. He tried to make it as light as he could because he knew how nervous Robert was, but even he couldn't control Seb's mind. There were questions neither of them expected to be asked.

“Aren't you tired now?” - asked Seb as he took a good look at Robert – “Because if you are you should have a rest. Daddy always says that if I'm tired I have to sleep a bit.” - he was so caring and it made Robert emotional. Aaron too, but he was at least used to Seb's personality. He was always such a thoughtful kid, and Aaron was proud of that.

“I'm fine Seb.” - smiled Robert – “Go on then, you said you have lots of questions.” - he said and immediately saw Seb's eyes lit up.

“Daddy told me you had to go away because you helped auntie Vic. There was a bad man and you made him stop upsetting her.” - he said. Robert looked at Aaron, he knew he had to tell Seb some sort of explanation, and he was obviously way too little to know the whole truth.

“Yeah, that's right.” - he nodded.

“But if you did a good thing why did you have to go away?”

“Because it wasn't the right way to do it.” - said Robert. - “I shouldn't have done it like that.”

“But what did you do? Nobody tells me anything.” - he huffed as he crossed his arms over his chest. He looked like Aaron when he was in a mood. Robert didn't think he could love him more. He was so glad that half of Seb's personality was coming from Aaron.

“I told ya Seb... “ - started Aaron on his serious tone, but Robert cut him off.

“Look Seb, I promise you that one day I tell you everything about how it was, but for now you just have to make do with this, alright? It's a very difficult subject, and sometimes it's not that good to talk about it.” - said Robert trying to be as careful as he could be. - “You understand it right?” - he saw Seb's thinking at his words before he finally nodded. Robert felt more than relieved.

“You promise?”

“Yeah, I promise. It's not gonna be tomorrow or next week, but one day.” - he smiled.

“Were you scared?” - asked Seb all of a sudden. That was definitely a question nor him neither Aaron expected from a 6-year-old.

“Yeah, I was.” - he told him honestly.

“Daddy says that it's okay to be scared sometimes.” - said Seb after he glanced at Aaron.

“He's right.” – smiled Robert.

“I heard Nana talking to Uncle Cain and she told him that my mum didn't want me to live here. Why?” - he asked and it made Aaron look confused, Robert didn't even know what to say to that.

“When... when did ya hear this Seb?” - asked him Aaron.

“A long time ago... I just remembered. They said she didn't let me visit you. I don't remember that.” - he pouted. He was only 2 years old when it happened and not long after with the accident... he was suddenly back in the village, back with Aaron. Not surprising that he didn't have any memories.

“Look Seb, your mum...” - sighed Aaron. It was difficult to say anything because he hated Rebecca for making that decision but he couldn't exactly slag her off... a dead woman... how would that look. - “...your mum didn't want you upset.”

“Like you didn't want Auntie Vic upset?” - he asked Robert. He was such a smart kid, linking the information he heard previously. Robert only nodded at him. - “Why would I be upset?” - he asked again not understanding.

“Because of me.” - said Robert. - “I wasn't around, you were asking after me.”

“I don't remember that!” - it was clearly something that bothered him.

“You were only a baby, of course you don't.” - smiled Robert. - “But you know what? You managed to keep a promise.”

“I don't understand that.” - he told him.

“I know you don't remember, you weren't even 2 years old.” - laughed Robert – “But you and me had a little chat. Well, I talked and you listened. I asked you to look after Daddy Aaron while I'm away.”

“You knew you were going away?” - he asked surprised. He clearly thought it was a sudden decision.

“I wanted to stay... but deep down I knew I guess.”

“Robert... “ - whispered Aaron. They haven't talked about any of this since he was back.

“I'm sorry.” - said Robert looking directly at Aaron. - “I should've known how difficult it would be.” - Aaron knew he was talking about Rebecca, but he didn't want to make it obvious in front of Seb. - “And you.” - he said pointing at Seb – “You kept your promise didn't ya? You looked after Daddy for me... so.... thank you.” - he smiled pinching his cheek.

“You hear that Daddy! I looked after you!” - said Seb cheerfully.

“Yeah, you did mate.” - laughed Aaron – “You did a good job of it as well.”

“Will you take me to school tomorrow?” - asked Seb from Robert.

“You want that?”

“Yeah.” - nodded Seb

“Then of course I will.”

“And will you watch Top Gear with us? We love Top Gear.” - he smirked.

“Absolutely.” - he smiled. - “We watched a lot of Top Gear with your Dad... before you were born.”

“Really?”

“Yeah... remember Aaron? There were days when after work we crashed at the backroom of the pub, with a sarnie a few cans and we watched Top Gear.”

“Yeah even if it was a rerun.” - he laughed. It was good to remember the good times. They were a part of them. Just as much as the bad times, and after having so many of those, it was liberating to talk about something happy.

“The pub? You lived there? - he asked looking from Robert to Aaron.

“Yeah, we did for a bit. Before we got this place.”

“You never said!”

“Well, you never asked.” - shrugged Aaron.

“When did you move here? Who bought this house? Was it long before I was born? Why am I not allowed to run down the stairs?” - asked Seb question after question and neither of his dads could keep up.

“Slow down Seb, we've got ages to talk about everything.” - chuckled Aaron.

“Are you married now?” - asked Seb out of nowhere.

“What?” - that's all Aaron could say in return.

“At school, Owen said his parents were married but then split up... and then got back together again.”

“Erm...” - Aaron suddenly had no answers. He knew what he wanted to but after all this time... he wasn't sure it still counted.

“Hey Seb, do you think you could show me how you and Daddy pack your bag? I definitely don't wanna miss it this time.” - said Robert trying to change the subject.

“Now?”

“Yeah sure why not, come on.” - he said standing up. They went upstairs and Aaron was glad for Robert's quick way of thinking. 30 minutes later they came back, and he distracted Seb with an episode of Top Gear... they watched it together, all three of them, and it was fun. They had a good time, but Aaron knew they needed to talk about what Seb said. Because they may have put their rings back on, but did it mean everything was automatically back to how it was before?

“Are you alright?” - asked Robert after Seb finally went to sleep.

“Me? You were the one being interrogated.” - he laughed.

“You know what I mean.”

“You know I posted the divorce papers.... “ - he sighed saying it finally.

“What?”

“I was in a bad place and I wanted a fresh start... well not as you'd think but...”

“I never got anything in the post.”

“Because I took them back.”

“You what?”

“My solicitor... he asked me if I was sure...” - sighed Aaron.

“Why did he do that? He should've just got on with it...”

“I don't know, because I didn't sound very sure? Anyway, I'm glad he did.”

“We would be divorced if not.” - pointed out Robert.

“I'm glad we aren't.” - said Aaron with a weak smile.

“Does this mean next time Seb asks you're gonna say we are married.”

“I'm sorry... for not telling him that... of course we are.” - said Aaron taking Robert's hand.

“I know, I wasn't judging, we didn't really talk about it. But that's what you want?”

“You know it is. But I can't pretend this past 5 years didn't happen.”

“I know... I know.” - agreed Robert.

“I know how this sounds but... just hear me out....” - he started and Robert just waited for him to carry on. - “After we find a counsellor for you... maybe... maybe we should see a marriage counsellor as well. It's not... it's not because I think we're in trouble... it's not... but...”

“Hey, stop fretting.” - smiled Robert. - “I agree.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, I know we have to be able to talk about those years and with our track record, we're only gonna end up in bed, forgetting the whole thing... well delaying it. I wanna sort this Aaron. For us... for Seb.”

“Alright.”

“I have a name... I'm gonna call her tomorrow, okay?”

“Sounds good.”

“Sounds like a start.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter to go before it's all done.
> 
> Hope you guys will like it


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seb's asking more questions, and Aaron brings up a topic that Robert's been avoiding for weeks.

A few months in and things improved. Well, some things. As he promised Robert called that counsellor and on their 4th session she asked whether Aaron could go as well to the next one. It was important in Robert's journey to reflect on things with Aaron there, and Aaron immediately said yes. They talked about also going to marriage counselling, and Robert's doctor - Lisa – gave them a number of a professional. On that front things were good.

Robert tried to readjust to life outside of prison, and as slow as it was, it was also something that was moving forward. He managed as far as to go shopping with Aaron – never on his own – and going to the cafe in the morning – but never actually staying there. _Baby steps_. That's what Aaron told him. Robert got frustrated sometimes for not being able to just walk into the pub, but Aaron always told him that he can't rush himself.

Their nights were a bit more difficult. Robert often woke up kicking in his sleep. Well, actually it was Aaron most of the times who woke up first, especially when Robert's knee landed between his ribs. It wasn't pleasant, but he knew that Robert couldn't help it. There wasn't screaming, although heavy breathing and panic attacks also happened once or twice. And it wasn't even the worst issue they had to face with.

However the most heartbreaking for Robert was when they had to explain all of this to Seb. He understood, of course, he did, he was such a good lad, but Robert hated that he needed to know anything like this in the first place.

It was the last week of January, almost February really, when they got home from their first marriage counselling session. It was mostly about formalities, but surprisingly enough the woman – Clara – gave them some homework. It wasn't anything special just a simple task. They had to make a list, on their own, and write down 5 positive words about the other, then 5 negative words as well. Clara said that it would be best if they didn't speak about it at home, just do it separately, and next week when their next session is up, they're gonna talk about it together. Sounded so easy. And Robert was in trouble. Because he's been barely home for a few months. For 5 years Aaron had to run everything single-handed... how could he say anything bad about him? He didn't really have the time to think about this a lot because as soon as Vic brought Seb home he started asking all kinds of questions. _“Are you gonna get a divorce?”_ was one of them.

“Vic, erm... thanks for bringing him home, can you...” - trailed off Aaron as he looked at Seb's little face. He seemed so upset and they knew it was about the marriage counselling, but he never thought he would think that.

“Yeah, yeah, sure. I leave you guys to it.” - she said with a weak smile before she left. Robert guided Seb to the couch, taking his coat from him, while Aaron started talking.

“We're not getting a divorce Seb.” - he said with a little laugh – “Why would you think that?”

“Because... because at school Emma said her parents were going to counselling like you do... and then they got a divorce. She said when parents start speaking about counselling it means they'll get a divorce.” - he said still upset, and Robert could hear it in his voice that he was seconds away from crying. - “I don't want you to get a divorce.” - he said with tears in his eyes.

“Oh mate, we won't...” - said Aaron as he hugged him and looked at Robert at the same time urging him to say something.

“Seb.” - called out Robert as he went over and sat down next to him. - “Your Dad and I... we love each other so much.” - he said and tried to sound as reassuring as he could. - “Our marriage is not in trouble that's not... that's not the only reason for people to go to a counsellor.”

“Really?” - he asked as he wiped his eyes with the sleeve of his shirt.

“Yeah.” - said Aaron making Seb look at him. He was kneeling in front of the boy, stroking his cheek. - “I love your Dad to bits, it's why we're going in the first place.”

“I don't understand.” - he pouted.

“Look.” - said Robert – “It helps me. Because I've been away for so long, and I wanna be the person I was when I left you know.”

“But you're still my Dad. Ain't you the same person?” - he asked as he scratched his eyebrows.

“I look the same, yeah but... there are some things that I need help with.”

“Like when you and Daddy go shopping together?”

“Yeah mate exactly like that.” - told him Aaron.

“It's why we're not eating dinner at the pub anymore?” - he asked.

“Yeah, it's a bit difficult for your Dad you know? To be in a place with so many people.”

“But he gives me a lift to school. There are a lot of people there too.”

“That's true buddy, but I never actually leave the car you know? I know it's a bit complicated.” - he sighed.

“It's not.” - said Seb. - “Daddy goes with you to help you. Because you want to get better.” - he said shrugging.

“That's right mate.” - smiled Aaron.

“And you definitely won't get a divorce?”

“No.” - they said at the same time smiling at the other.

“And what are you doing exactly there? Is it true you have to talk about secret stuff?” - he asked looking from Robert to Aaron.

“Your friend told you that?”

“She said her mum walked out crying once.”

“How does she know that?”

“She heard her telling all about it when her mum picked her up from her grandma.” - Robert and Aaron just looked at each other, and without words, they agreed to let Seb know more about these sessions.

“You wanna know what we did today?” - asked Robert.

“Yeah.” - he nodded immediately.

“Actually, it wasn't much because it was our first time, but we have homework to do.”

“Really? Like my math homework?”

“Well, a bit like that yeah.”

“What is it about?”

“We can't tell you.” - said Aaron. They both wanted to let Seb know that it's nothing to worry about but it seemed a bit too much to tell him everything.

“Why???”

“It's boring grown-up stuff.” - tried Robert. - “But the main thing is, we're alright. Yeah? We're not getting a divorce, it's not why we're there. You only need to know that, alright?”

“Okay.” - he sighed eventually.

“D'ya wanna milkshake? Daddy will make you one.” - said Aaron as he glanced at Robert.

* * *

That night they both tucked Seb in together, told him once again that they're fine, just to make him sure, and when they left his room, Aaron offered a beer to Robert. He took it.

They sat on the sofa sipping their beers, in silence, and it seemed like none of them will break it any time soon. However as the minutes passed Aaron got tense, and when he placed the empty bottle on the table with a loud sigh, Robert spoke up.

“You want another?”

“So... we're not gonna talk about it.” - he said slowly looking at his husband. At first, Robert didn't know what he was on about, then he hoped it was about Seb.. because if it wasn't, then it was about something he wanted to avoid like the plague.

“You heard him, he's fine.”

“I'm not talking about Seb am I?” - said Aaron turning to Robert. Robert just took a big breath, and that's how Aaron know for sure that his husband knew perfectly well what he was on about. - “Robert, we need to talk about this.” - he said. He didn't want to push him but it's been weeks, and he's desperate to talk to Robert about this. He hoped maybe he would bring up the subject, and he did have opportunities, but nothing happened.

“We will...”

“You wanna wait until next week's session?”

“No... I don't wanna talk about that... not there.”

“Robert, we have a problem...”

“You mean I have a problem.” - he huffed as he crossed his arms over his chest.

“No, I don't mean it like that.” - said Aaron as he inched closer to him. He touched his arm to give it a light squeeze but Robert shook him off. - “Come on Robert, I wanna help. Don't... don't take it as an offence.”

“Why do you have to be so understanding?”

“You'd rather if I wasn't? Come on, we can sort this.”

“How? I know it's not normal Aaron... I know okay!” - he said trying to keep his voice down. - “If you wanna.... “- he knew what he wanted to say but he just couldn't get the words out – “I wouldn't hold it against you... “ - he said looking at him but not daring to look directly into Aaron's eyes, and Aaron understood.

“You really think I would?” - he asked a bit hurt. - “Robert, I won't go off with some random just because we have.... issues.”

“I do. I have issues. Let's just say it yeah?”

“It's okay.” - said Aaron trying to touch him again.

“No, it's not.” - answered Robert standing up. He started pacing up and down the room and Aaron was sure he's gonna have a headache soon. - “I just... I don't understand.”

“Sit down please.” - he said massaging his temple. When Robert didn't listen he tried again. - “Robert. Just... please.” - this time he saw his husband sitting on the other end of the sofa.

“We had sex since I'm back.” - said Robert.

“I know, and it was amazing.”

“Then why can't I..... I swear to you nothing's happened inside... it's not... it's not that I'm trying to erase something from my memory. I wouldn't keep quiet about that. You know that right?” - he asked looking over at Aaron.

“Yeah, course I know. It's complicated...” - he said biting his lips – “It's not...I just want you to be okay, yeah? Nothing else matters. It's not about sex Robert. It's about intimacy. It's about you being fine in one minute than freak out in the next. I'm not desperate to get my dick sucked you know it's not about that right?”

“I know.” - he sighed – “It's just... it's embarrassing.”

“It's not.”

“It is.” - said Robert again. - “Because I want ya. I want ya so much... I just... I don't know.”

“Your next appointment with Lisa is tomorrow right?”

“Yeah.”

“You should speak to her.”

“How?”

“Just tell her how it is.”

“That we can't have sex because sometimes I'm acting like a different person?”

“If that's how you feel..”

“I don't know how I feel Aaron!! That's the point.”

“Well, you need to start somewhere.” - he said standing up. - “I'm here for you Robert, always. Just don't doubt that. If you think I'm gonna leave you alone in this, you're wrong.”

“Don't leave.” - said Robert while he grabbed Aaron's hand to stop him from going upstairs. - “I don't know what's wrong with me.” - he said with tears in his eyes.

“Let me help ya.” - whispered Aaron. - “Talk to Lisa tomorrow, then we're gonna sit down and talk as well. Okay?”

“What about Seb?”

“He can go to Vic's, or I can call Cain to have him for the afternoon okay?”

“Yeah.” - nodded Robert while Aaron sat on the edge on the sofa, patting his back. This time Robert let him. Not just let him, he was practically holding onto Aaron for dear life. - “Can we stay like this for a bit?” - he asked.

“Course we can.” - smiled Aaron as he started stroking his hair. - “But if you're only saying this because you don't wanna get into bed... I won't push you Robert. There's no pressure. I just wanna sleep alright.” - he said and hoped Robert would understand him.

“Okay, five more minutes.” - he said inhaling Aaron's scent as he kept on hugging him. - “It feels good like this.” - he whispered.

“Alright. Five more minutes.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I told you guys this was the last one but I've had ideas so... there will definitely be more. At least another 2 chapters. 
> 
> Alright, hope you enjoy it.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robert opens up, but there's still a long way to go...

It took Robert 2 sessions with Lisa to start figuring out what is his problem. He didn't really think about it... not properly but when Lisa asked directly if he felt self-conscious everything made sense. Well not all of a sudden but with a little help and some more questions from his counsellor, Robert finally opened up. He didn't understand how he could feel all of this at once when he felt fine for weeks. Lisa told him it's not something that as straightforward as he thought. He was maybe out of prison but the new impulses he had to face, the life he had to adjust... his family he had to get to know again... intimacy he had to find again... it was a lot. It's only natural that he's struggling with it.

“So... what do I do?” - he asked at the end of their session.

“Talk.”

“That's it? That's your great advice? Talking?” - scoffed Robert, then a second later he apologized. - “Sorry...” - he sighed – “I just... I never had problems like that.”

“Robert, it's not something you should be ashamed of.”

“Yeah because freaking out during sex is so natural.” - he laughed.

“That's not what I meant, but you've been through a lot. You can't expect to just get on with it like nothing's happened. That's why it's important to talk. Aaron said he wanted you to be okay, right?”

“Yeah.” - he smiled. - “I don't deserve him. Not really.”

“Why would you think that?”

“He's... he's so understanding. About everything. About this. I know it frustrates him.”

“But he's putting you first.” - said Lisa – “What does that tell you?”

“That he's an idiot?” - he said with a smile. Lisa returned it. - “I love him.”

“I never doubted that. It was very clear from the first time you spoke about him.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. And after I met Aaron... Robert, you have a brilliant support system. Don't let it go to waste.”

“I don't know how to talk to him about this.”

“I'm sure that's not true.”

“I've always been... confident.”

“It's okay not to be.”

“I just hate being.... vulnerable.”

“Why don't you start with that?”

“Yeah, so he can shout at me for being stupid.”

“So you know it's stupid?” - she asked with a smirk. She tricked him and Robert had to hand it to her, she was good at her job. - “Just start it by saying how this situation makes you uncomfortable. I doubt he doesn't know this already but if you want a start, maybe you can start with that.”

“Alright.”

“So, next time, I want a full report on how you're doing. If talking helped, and if it made anything improve.”

“You want an update on my sex life?”

“I was thinking about a more general summary...” - she laughed – “But if that's....”

“No, I erm... I figure it out how to update you.” - he said cutting her off.

“Good. So... same time next Wednesday?”

“Alright. Thanks.” - said Robert before he stood up and left her office.

* * *

“What's this?” - asked Robert as soon as he got home. Seb was putting on his coat, and Aaron had his keys in his hand already. - “Did I miss something?”

“No, Seb's gonna have his dinner at Vic's, ain't that right mate?” - said Aaron as he ruffled his hair.

“Yeah, and Daddy said you're gonna pick me up later.”

“Erm, okay.” - nodded Robert as he kicked his shoes off.

“Don't get too comfortable, dinner's almost ready.”

“What? You cooked?” - asked Robert surprised.

“Yeah, I'm not that helpless anymore you know.” - he winked at him. - “Alright, come on Seb.”

“Bye Dad.” - smiled Seb.

“Have a good time.” - said Robert before he went to have a look at the kitchen.

“Oi.” - called out Aaron halfway out the door. - “Don't peek, I got everything covered, just go and wash your hands, I'll be back in 5 minutes.” - Robert didn't want to spoil anything so he did as he was told, and 7 minutes later – because he counted – Aaron arrived back home, and they immediately sat down to eat.

“Okay, what's this about?” - asked Robert before he tasted anything.

“Can't I just spoil me husband for once?”

“Alright, now it definitely looks shifty.” - he laughed.

“No, seriously.. I just wanted you to have a nice evening. Come on tell me, how was your session.”

“I think I made a step forward.” - he said before he took a sip from his wine.

“Really? That's good. … I don't wanna be nosy, but if you wanna tell me...”

“Later yeah? Tell me how was work... what did Seb say about school? Just normal stuff.” - he asked, and Aaron granted his wish.

“So...” - said Robert as they moved to the couch with a bottle of red.

“So...” - repeated Aaron, waiting patiently.

“Lisa said we should talk...”

“About what?” - he asked panicking already even though he knew Robert would say something like that.

“Not... nothing bad... just in general.” - he said at first but Aaron knew he wanted to tell him more. - “About me... about why I freak out for no good reason.”

“Robert... you've been through a lot...”

“I know.” - he sighed – “...she said that too. That it's.... normal.” - he said making the last word sound like a joke. Like something he still can't believe.

“Robert.” - said Aaron touching his hand – “You just... need to take it slow.”

“I don't see the same man in the mirror when I look into it now.” - he said all of a sudden. - “I know it sounds stupid, and honestly it didn't even occur to me... but... Lisa said something...”

“About?” - asked Aaron encouraging him to continue.

“About being insecure? Self-conscious?”

“I should've known.” - whispered Aaron. It all made sense to him now. He suspected it, but Robert was always so... well not full of himself but he never had any issues on that front, so Aaron kept pushing the idea out of his head, even though he knew now the circumstances changed and it might be relevant.

“How? Even I haven't.”

“I know you better than you know yourself though.” - pointed out Aaron. - “After.... and I'm not having a go.... after you cut all contact … it took me some time to come to terms with it, but eventually, I understood why... and I knew that it had something to do with how you see yourself.”

“And how do I see myself, Aaron?” - he asked with a bitter tone.

“Not good enough?” - he told him honestly. Robert didn't answer. - “And I know it's rubbish, and you should know it too, but sometimes we can't help how our brain's wired.”

“You're too goo...”

“Shut up I'm not. I just love you, and I want you to know and believe me when I say this.... you're enough.” - he told him as he grabbed both of his hands.

“I was inside for 5 years Aaron...”

“So what? I'm 5 years older as well. Robert... of course prison's changed ya, but... god I wish you could see yourself through my eyes.... there's no part of you I don't adore. You hear me?”

“I'm not that fit Aaron...”

“You are to me.” - said Aaron shutting him up.

“I have grey hair...”

“You're blond Robert, how could you possibly know?”

“My body...”

“Your body is perfect.” - he said and Robert just scoffed at that. - “Why don't you believe me? Robert, I wouldn't change how you look even if I could.”

“Now that's a lie.”

“No, it's really not. You know I noticed you changing in the bathroom, but I said nothing because I thought it's gonna pass. I didn't wanna push ya, and I don't wanna do it now, I just want you to know … you don't have to do that.”

“I can't help it, Aaron.”

“How can I help? I wanna help. Robert, you're gorgeous.”

“Careful it's almost sounded like a compliment.”

“Shut up you idiot, it was.” - smiled Aaron. - “Just... I'm not saying right now at this minute but... please let me show you how much I love ya.”

“Is this code for sex?”- he said joking.

“Robert, please be serious for a moment.”

“I can't Aaron.... because it's embarrassing.”

“It shouldn't be.”

“It's just how I feel.” - he shrugged.

“I'll do anything... just tell me what ya want. I really want us to get past this.”

“You think I'm not desperate?” - asked back, Robert. - “I am. It's just my stupid brain... getting in the way.”

“Have you tried to turn it off?”

“Just about every minute... “

“I have an idea.” - said Aaron slowly. It made Robert look at him, something he tried to avoid throughout this whole conversation.

“What?”

“You'll think it's stupid but honestly I don't give a shit.”

“Aaron, what is it?”

“I'm not gonna tell ya... I don't want you panicking.”

“Alright, I hope you know you're achieving the exact opposite... because I'm close to panicking.”

“It's nothing bad. But we can't do it now. We have to get Seb home soon.”

“Both of us?” - asked Robert raising his eyebrows.

“Yeah, you heard him, he wants you there.”

“I thought he meant just you.”

“No, definitely both of us.”

“So the novelty hasn't worn off just yet.” - he chuckled to himself.

“What? You think you're back and one day he stops asking you stuff?”

“No, but it's been months... I just thought...”

“That he wouldn't bother with you? See... that's where you're wrong. That lad is hanging on your every word... if you haven't noticed already.” - this gave Robert a smile. Something that Aaron took as a victory. This chat was challenging enough as it is. Robert finally smiling... genuinely, not just faking it made it all better.

* * *

“Alright, if you want to... we can watch that documentary about sharks, it's gonna start in a bit.” - said Robert excited. Seb told him a few weeks back how he loved watching documentaries... something that Robert could understand because he also loved it, although he's not really watched anything since he was back.

“I don't like sharks anymore. I don't hate them I just don't wanna watch that documentary.” - told him Seb as he picked up his homework. Robert helped him finish it, and they checked all the answers and all. He was a smart kid, but he needed a bit of pushing to actually get stuff done.

“Oh.” - that's all Robert said, he was so surprised that he didn't even know what to say.

“Alright Seb, go and get your PJs on, and then after you brushed your teeth maybe there will be something waiting on your nightstand... maybe. - said Aaron sheepishly.

“Is it the comic book I told you about??” - he asked with his eyes lit up. Robert just looked at them, having no idea what they were talking about.

“Maybe...” - said Aaron but Seb was halfway up the stairs already.

“PJs first then I come and see if you brushed your teeth. No point in lying, you hear me?” - shouted Aaron before he chuckled to himself. Then he looked at his husband – “What?”

“Nothing.” - he said with a sigh before he took a seat at the kitchen table.

“If this is about what I said before...”

“No, it's... I'm fine Aaron, okay?” - he said with a weak smile. - “Today's session tired me out, that's all. I think I'm gonna have an early night, alright?” - he asked but he was already two steps ahead, heading upstairs.

“Okay.” - whispered Aaron. - “I clean up here then check on Seb, then I catch you up, yeah?”

“Yeah.” - he heard Robert sighed, and watched as he walked up the stairs. Sometimes he felt like they took a step forward finally... but then it turned out they took 2 steps backwards as well. It bothered him, but he knew that Robert needed to get himself together, and the last thing he wanted to do was pushing him. So he just waited and hoped for the best.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maybe Aaron got through to Robert this time?

“Hmm, what's this?” - yawned Aaron when he was waking up to the smell of bacon and coffee. Robert got him breakfast in bed.

“Well, what is it look like?” - he asked smiling as he placed the tray on the bed before he sat down carefully as well.

“Thanks... but I still don't know what's all this.” - he said as Robert handed over his mug.

“I felt like it.” - he shrugged. Aaron just looked at him waiting for more explanation and Robert must have felt it because after a sigh he continued. - “It's to say... I'm sorry.” - he said finally.

“What you're sorry for?”

“For... you know.” - said Robert looking directly at Aaron's crotch.

“Robert, I told ya... it's not a race.”

“But you must want it... I know I do... it's just... sometimes it's....”

“A bit too much?”

“I don't know... maybe? I wanna get past it.” - said Robert but it felt like he was talking to himself. - “We need to... just get back to it. I need to...Tonight, yeah?” - he said with an uncertain tone.

“No.” - told him Aaron and Robert's face fell.

“What?” - he asked hurt.

“No, I didn't mean it like that... but I won't just jump on ya, you idiot. If you wanna do it we need to do it step by step.”

“Are you kidding me?”

“No. Look, you know what Lisa told ya....”

“Alright... how do we do this then?”

“How about....cuddles?”

“Cuddles? What are you, five?”

“Alright, I did have an idea...”

“Yeah I remember, that's all you said and I wanna know what it was ever since.”

“Okay, but we need Seb out of the house.”

“Agree. I mean I love him... it's just...”

“Robert you don't need to explain, we're on the same page there. If we're gonna do this, we need to focus on us.”

“So he's staying with your mum tonight?”

“Yeah, we're gonna pop over in the afternoon.”

“Me as well?”

“Yeah, we're... going through the back door okay?” - he asked as he stroked his arm.

“You know one of these days I need to actually go into the pub... I can't avoid it forever.”

“I ask me mum when it's not that crowded and then we can go yeah?”

“I love you.” - smiled Robert.

“And I love you. It's gonna be fine.”

“You don't have to convince me.” - he chuckled – “Eat your breakfast, it's gonna get cold.”

“Want some?” - asked Aaron offering him a bite.

“Aaron Dingle sharing his food.... you must really love me.” - he laughed, and Aaron let him off this time. He just smiled back at him, shoving him a bit playfully, but otherwise, he didn't have any snide remarks. He was glad to see Robert a bit relaxed. He knew he's gonna get tensed at some point today, so he wanted to enjoy this version of him for as long as he could.

* * *

“Is it a secret?” - asked Seb as they walked towards the pub. Aaron called Chas, and she was glad to have Seb for the night. She didn't say a word, even though Aaron knew she was dying to ask questions.

“What is a secret?” - asked Aaron paying not enough attention to his son as he held one of his hand. Seb's other hand was held by Robert who looked like a deer caught in the headlights.

“The reason why I have to sleep at the pub with Nana.” - he said.

“Oh... erm...”

“It's... it's because of the homework we've been given.”- said Robert suddenly. It just slipped out, and he had no idea how he's gonna explain this to his 7-year-old son.

“What homework?”

“Well...” - started Robert but he didn't get too far.

“That... that would be telling.” - said Aaron smiling at Seb.

“You can't tell me?” - he asked pouting.

“It's not that buddy, it's just... a bit complicated, and me and your Dad... we need to talk about it a bit, okay? But you don't need to worry about that, you just gotta have a fun night alright? Promise me you're gonna enjoy yourself.” - said Aaron trying to sound sincere.

“Okay.” - sighed Seb as they reached the back door. Aaron opened it easily, knowing it would be left open for them.

“Hiya love.” - smiled Chas as soon as they got inside. - “Are you ready for a fun night Seb?” - she asked her grandson.

“Yess!! Can I have a hot chocolate?” - he asked with bright eyes.

“Course you can, go and find grandpa Paddy. He's gonna sort you out.” - she smiled at him. Seb basically ran off to find Paddy at the bar, and Chas wasted no time to get some answers. - “You wanna tell me what this is about?”

“It's nothing.”

“It's my fault.” - they said at the same time. Aaron looked at Robert, while he tried to avoid Chas's gaze.

“So.... which way is it?” - she asked again. This time Aaron remained silent but Robert took a breath before he answered.

“It's because of me. We need to.... talk about stuff.”

“And that's all you need to know.” - said Aaron. He didn't wanna let her mother know obviously.

“Okay... but you're doing fine?” - she asked again sounded a bit worried.

“Yeah... I'd say.” - said Robert looking at Aaron for confirmation.

“Course we're doing fine.” - he said with a warm smile as he stroked his arm – “We just need some time... together.” - he said and he had every intention to leave it at that.

“Alright, I won't pry, I swear.” - told them Chas. - “You can come and pick him up tomorrow morning yeah? Not too soon... around 9 or 10 would be fine. No rush luv.” - she said looking at Aaron.

“Thanks, mum. We're gonna go.”

“Wait, say goodbye, or you know.” - she said knowingly. Robert just had a questioning look on his face but Aaron quickly told him how he left Seb at the pub one time and he had a complete 1-hour long tantrum because he didn't say goodbye to him. He couldn't do a single thing about it, he had to go, it was a work thing, but Seb was upset the whole day afterwards. It took him many many magic cuddles to solve the problem... and some chocolate.

* * *

“Do you have a plan?” - asked Robert. Aaron sensed that he was nervous, and he ached to reassure him.

“Not really.” - he shrugged – “Robert, we don't need a plan. We just... we were always good at this. Just don't overthink it yeah?”

“I try.” - he smiled nervously.

“You remember what it was like when you came back?” - asked Aaron. He meant their night together. Robert knew that.

“Yeah, I do, course I do.”

“It's me.” - said Aaron. - “You don't need to do anything. You're you, Robert, that's all I need.” - he said as he kissed his lips.

“What if it's not enough?...What if I'm not enough” - asked Robert pulling away.

“You were always enough.” - said Aaron slowly as he looked right in his eyes. - “Even when you were with Chrissie. I wanted more but... I was happy to get all you had to offer. Don't you see?” - he asked as he grabbed his face with both hands – “You were always it. All I've wanted. And now... you're mine.” - he whispered as he kissed him again. Robert let him. He kissed him back, pushing him onto the couch. Their jackets were off in no time, and Robert was actually eager to get rid of Aaron's shirt. They were lost in the moment, and Aaron thought they're gonna be just fine... but when he reached for Robert's belt... unfastened it.... pulled the zipper down and was about to get his hand under his waistband, he pulled away. They were both panting, but Robert sat up, trying to get some distance between them. - “If you wanna stop we can stop.” - said Aaron with his hand on Robert's back.

“No... I...” - he didn't finish the sentence, but Aaron knew how he felt.

“Come on... we should go upstairs, and you can decide what you want me to do. Anything you want... anything at all.” - he said and his voice must have been convincing enough because Robert went with it.

Two minutes later they were sitting on the edge of their bed. Robert looking at the floor, Aaron looking at Robert... just waiting for his next move. When he didn't say a word for another 3 minutes Aaron decided to take the lead.

“Why don't you lie down?” - he told him. - “I promise I'm gonna stop if you don't like it. Okay?” - he asked and he was so honest, so open, and all Robert could do was nod. As soon as he was horizontal Aaron lay beside him looking him over. - “You really have no idea... “ - he started as his eyes scanned through Robert body – “How much I missed you.... all of you.” - he said as he looked in his eyes.

“Really?” - that's all Robert could say, and Aaron didn't leave him hanging.

“Yeah.” - he whispered as he licked his lips. His hand started stroking Robert's arms, then his chest. He was still in his shirt, and Aaron was very careful with every move he made, but his hand managed to find its way under the material. He saw Robert's eyes closed as he let out a breath he was holding for too long. - “This.” - said Aaron as his hands ran up and down Robert's body. - “I had so many dreams... just touching you. You're literally all I dreamed about Robert.” - he said. - “You have no idea what it was like to see you again after 5 years.”

“I missed you.” - said Robert suddenly. His eyes were still closed but his hand grabbed Aaron's to guide him. It took them a good ten minutes but eventually, Aaron had his hand on Robert's crotch. Through the thick material of his jeans but it was definitely progress.

“Can you feel this?” - asked Aaron as he pressed himself to Robert. - “That's what you're doing to me.” - he whispered in his ear. He knew Robert had problems with his self-esteem, and especially after prison, so he wanted to let him know that to him, he was always perfect.... always enough. To his surprise, Robert's answer was a long-awaited moan. Aaron felt him getting hard as he continued to rub him over his jeans. He didn't wanna push, he wanted to wait for Robert to give him the green light. Five agonisingly slow minutes later he got it when Robert pulled his hand inside his pants. He was rock hard and Aaron grinned to himself, even though he knew Robert wouldn't see it. He had his eyes closed as he laid there in the middle of the bed, letting Aaron do all the work. Aaron knew it might be risky but he couldn't hold back anymore, he had to get his mouth on Robert. So he slowly started kissing his neck, the little noises from Robert underneath him urged him to go forward. His hand was still on Robert's cock, when he pushed himself closer to him, kissing down his chest. - “Take it off.” - he whispered and to his surprise Robert obeyed. He got rid of his shirt straight away. Aaron wasted no time to get his tongue on his nipples.

“Aaron.” - moaned Robert as he bucked his hips up while he grabbed his hair pulling it lightly.

“God Robert you have no idea how long I've been waiting to do this.” - whispered Aaron while his teeth gently grazed his skin. He tried to go lower, but all of a sudden Robert's eyes were wide open and he was panting.

“Stop.” - he said trying to catch his breath.

“Okay, okay. “- said Aaron immediately as he got off him and sat on the bed while Robert's back hit the headboard with a loud groan.

“I'm sorry.” - he sighed, while he searched for his shirt.

“No, it's okay.” - said Aaron handed it to him. - “You're alright?” - he asked

“Uh-huh.” - he nodded. - “It's worse than being a bloody virgin.... why can't I just shut down my brain?” - asked Robert with his head in his hands, clearly frustrated as he tried to get a bit of distance between him and Aaron.

“Oi. Don't be embarrassed.” - told him Aaron. Robert didn't want to look at him. They were still aroused and obviously wanting more, and Robert didn't know what to do with that. - “Okay, Robert... look at me.” - he said and didn't continue until he saw Robert's eyes. - “How about... you leave your shirt on? We can turn off all the lights.... if you think that'll help.”

“I... I don't know.”

“Worth a try, right? We have a house... childfree.” - smiled Aaron trying to joke a little bit. It must have worked because he saw a weak smile from Robert.

“I think... I just.... why do you want me?” - asked Robert suddenly.

“What do you mean why do I want ya?”

“Why Aaron... I look...”

“You look incredible.” - he said and he immediately heard Robert scoff. - “No, I mean it. Oi, look at me.” - he said as he grabbed Robert's face lifting it up to meet his gaze. - “You remember how I was?” - he asked. And Robert did remember. How Aaron never took his top off at the beginning... how was the first time he did, and Robert saw all the scars. And Robert did remember the time he threw it all back to his face, just before he got shot. He hated himself for it. He didn't know how Aaron trusted him afterwards... so much to get naked in front of him. He was so strong... so brave... Robert didn't think he had it in himself.

“I'm sorry for that you know.” - he told him.

“I know. And we're so past it. It's not why I said it. I just want you to know that.... how you saw me... when we got back together... how you always reassured me... it meant the world. And I know I didn't tell you enough but... you were so patient, and there were times I wanted to scream because of all the tension, but you were there... and you helped. You helped just by being you. I wanna do the same. Just... please Robert. Tell me what to do. I wanna love you, alright? You're all I want and nothing can change that. Not prison, not these five years... there's nothing I want more... than you.” - he said, and it looked like Robert's heart skipped a beat. He slowly looked at Aaron, and it felt like he understood.

“You really mean that?” - he asked and Aaron could see the tears forming in his eyes.

“Course I do.” - he answered while he brushed away Robert's tears. - “The way you look.... you're perfect to me Robert. With everything. Just like how you accepted me with all my scars and...”

“You didn't need accepting I just loved you...”

“And I just love you.” - told him Aaron as he got a bit closer. Not by much but it was enough to let Robert know. - “Just... just let me make you feel good, yeah?” - he asked as he got his hands back on Robert. He saw Robert nodding, and that was all he needed.

“Can you... can you... turn the lights off then?” - asked Robert biting his lip. He was clearly nervous to ask for it, even though Aaron told him it was okay.

“Of course I can. It's more romantic anyway.” - he smiled as he reached over to click the switch. He heard the sigh of relief leaving Robert's mouth when darkness surrounded them. - “Can I love ya properly now?” - he asked him with his hands on his cheek slowly stroking him.

“We can give it a go I guess.” - said Robert before Aaron let out a little laugh and kissed him again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise there's still more, so it won't end here. But this is definitely some progress they achieved I think.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter!!!
> 
> Robert and Aaron take a step forward, and Robert finally goes into the pub for a meal.

It was very early when Aaron first opened his eyes. Alright, he might not have had that many hours of sleep, but he was rather watching Robert. They finally made a step forward last night, and Aaron couldn't help but smile. He carefully got his phone in his hand to look at the time. It wasn't even 7 in the morning. He decided to try and have a bit of rest as he checked if Robert was okay. He was sound asleep, and he looked so peaceful. Aaron was thankful for that. That was the last thing on his mind as he closed his eyes again.

“Hmmm.” - heard Aaron as Robert started to stir.

“Morning.” - he whispered while Robert wrapped Aaron's arms around him, making his hold tighter. Sometimes it was hard to know if Robert wanted to be touched or not, but Aaron welcomed every bit of initiation from his husband.

“What time is it?” - he yawned as he turned around to face him.

“Just gone 9.”

“Shit, we have to get Seb.” - said Robert panicked already sitting up.

“Relax, I messaged me mum, he's gonna stay there for a little longer.” - he said gently pushing Robert back. - “How are you?” - he asked after he saw Robert letting out a sigh.

“Good. I think I actually slept.”

“Yeah, you did.” - smiled Aaron.

“You were watching me.” - he said. It wasn't even a question, he knew he did.

“Maybe.” - answered Aaron biting his lip. - “Are you really...”

“Yeah, I'm fine, it... it was good.” - said Robert before he gulped hard – “How was it for you?”

“Are you fishing for compliments here?” - smiled Aaron, but he knew how important this was for Robert.

“No... I erm... I just wanna …”

“Sorry, I'm kidding.” - he said as he pushed his fingers through Robert's hair –“It was amazing.”

“Even if I did nothing?”

“What d'ya mean you did nothing? I seem to remember it differently... “ - told him Aaron, trying to get him out of this mood. Last night Robert looked so lost... and Aaron knew it was hard for him to admit that. That's why he took charge of things, and not letting Robert lift a finger.

“You know what I mean Aaron... before.... before prison I was...”

“Robert, of course, it has an impact on your life, but it doesn't mean we can't get past it. I've been there I know what it's like. To feel vulnerable... to feel like you're not enough... that the way you look just won't do it anymore... I know.” - he said sighing. - “How did ya see me after the trial? After prison even. Did you think I was any less of a man?”

“What? No! Course not! You know that!” - answered Robert immediately.

“Then why would you think I would think like that? I meant what I said last night.”

“I know you did.” - said Robert with a shy smile.

“And do you believe it as well?”

“Yeah.” - he nodded.

“Alright. Then... you won't mind this...” - said Aaron as he curled his fingers around Robert's cock. It caught Robert by surprise but it was such a good feeling that he just simply couldn't say no. Aaron knew it could be a terribly wrong move but he hoped for the best.

“Aaron.” - he groaned as his head hit the pillow.

“What? Tell me what you want...anything.” - he said hoping Robert won't change his mind.

“Your mouth.” - said Robert licking his own lips. Aaron honestly didn't expect him to say anything but he was more than happy to get this reply.

“You sure?”

“Yeah, just... don't stop.” - he panted as Aaron moved his hand in a quicker pace. He knew he had to act fast before Robert could change his mind, so he wasted no time to settle between his legs, laying on his stomach, and give him a taste of the next couple of minutes. Robert still had his shirt on, and the room was still quite dark because of the blinds, but Aaron felt him getting a little tense.

“Close your eyes.” - he told Robert. He didn't have to repeat, Robert did it straight away, while one of his hands fell on the back of Aaron's head, his fingers running through his hair. The tension in his body eased, and that's when Aaron decided to take him into his mouth. All the way, without mercy. After a few minutes of bobbing his head up and down, he stopped but only to look at Robert for a second. Coming undone, relaxed, and barely capable of forming words, and that's when he knew that they were definitely on the road to recovery.

* * *

“How about a coffee and some breakfast on the way to the pub?” - asked Aaron once they managed to leave the bedroom, to have a shower and to get dressed.

“Don't you mean lunch?” - laughed Robert. He was genuinely laughing, and Aaron joined him.

“Okay, then how about we have lunch …. at the pub?” - he suggested. - “Only if you want to.”

“Yeah.” - nodded Robert.

“You don't have to...”

“I want to. I might get a bit... jumpy but... you'll be there.” - he said to Aaron with a smile.

“Okay, so can I ring me mum to get Seb ready?”

“Yeah and tell him that he can have anything from the dessert menu... on me.”

“Feeling generous?” - smirked Aaron – “You're gonna spoil him.”

“I don't mind.” - he shrugged – “I want to.”

“Just don't make a habit of it. He's too much like you anyway.”

“What does that mean?”

“He loves sugar way too much for a 7-year-old. I guess it's in his DNA or something.” - smiled Aaron.

“Well, I take full responsibility for that.” - said Robert. This conversation felt normal, like how they used to be, and Aaron only hoped it would remain like that once they get to the pub.

* * *

“Are you sure?” - asked Aaron before they went through the back. Chas prepared them the corner booth, just how Aaron asked, and Seb was way too excited for the dessert already to pick up on the tension.

“Yeah, I feel good now, I think it's gonna be fine.” - said Robert and to be fair he really looked more confident.

“Can I have a chocolate cake?” - asked Seb as soon as they got seated.

“Erm, not before you eat your veggies Mr.” - said Aaron.

“Do I have to?” - he pouted looking at Robert.

“Don't look at me mate, your Daddy's right. I promise you can have a slice of cake, but you just gotta make it through the healthy stuff.”

“Argh fine.” - he sighed. Robert smiled at him, while Aaron kept his eyes on his husband. This lunch started off really good.

There really wasn't as many people in the pub as usual, and Aaron was glad that they picked this time of the day. He wanted to make things easier for Robert. He only felt him tense a bit once, when Bob said hi and asked a couple of questions. He dealt with it, and thankfully Bob didn't want to stick around either, so after like 5 minutes, he saw Robert's shoulders drop.

“I'm just gonna nip to the loo, okay? Gonna be back in a minute.” - whispered Aaron as he squeezed Robert's hand.

“Okay, we'll be here, and by the time you're back maybe Seb's gonna clear his plate so we can order dessert.”- he said looking at his son. He still had a couple of things he needed to eat before he could get his hands on any kinds of sugar.

“But I don't like this Dad!” - he said as soon as Aaron left. He was playing around with some carrots and mushrooms, and Robert really wanted to just give him something sweet, but he knew he needed vitamins.

“Come on mate just one of each yeah?”

“No!”

“Seb, you're not gonna get far with this attitude.”

“But I hate this, Daddy never makes me eat them!” - he said crossing his arms over his chest. Robert was baffled with this sudden outburst, but before he could reply Aaron was back, and of course he saw the problem straight away.

“Oi, you know you need to eat that right?” - he asked pointing to the carrots.

“But not the mushroom right?”

“No, not that, I ask Marlon to drop it next time alright? But you need to eat these.” - he said separating the carrots in his plate as soon as he sat down next to him again.

“Okay.” - sighed Seb before he got to it. Robert just sat there with a sad expression and Aaron wanted to explain but it just wasn't the right time. Five minutes later when dessert came all was forgotten and Seb was the happiest kid, but Aaron knew it still bothered Robert.

“Go and wash your face in the back, you look like a right little monster.” - laughed Aaron. Seb ran away laughing his head off, full of energy and sugar, and Aaron turned to Robert straight away. - “Robert, you alright?”

“I...yeah.”

“Tell it to your face then.”

“It's just...I feel like I don't know him. Why didn't I know that he doesn't like mushrooms?”

“Robert, it's just dinner! And he's a kid, most of the times it's hard to get anything down his throat that's healthy.”

“Yeah, but you knew.”

“Because he's been like this for years.”

“Exactly! And where was I? In prison.” - he said making the last part as low as a whisper.

“I think you two need to spend more time together. I know crowds are not really your thing at the moment....”

“No, ….erm... even I can't tell you what brings it on... but I have a feeling it's just confined space I have a problem with. I would love to take him.” - he smiled. - “What does he like? I wanna take him somewhere fun.”

“Why don't you ask him when he comes back? He'd love to spend the day with ya, I know it.”

“Really?” - asked Robert biting his lip.

“Yeah, really. That kid adores you.”

“I adore him.”

“Good. So, just ask him yeah?”

“Today's been good so far right?” - asked Robert suddenly as he reached out over the table to grab Aaron's hand.

“I should think so.” - smiled Aaron. - “You're not tired right?” - he asked while he stroked the back of his hand with his fingers.

“No, maybe a bit of fresh air would be nice.”

“Okay, how about we get Seb, then have a little walk around the village?”

“I'd like that.” - smiled Robert. Aaron couldn't help himself so he leaned over and kissed him. Just a peck on the lips, but Robert didn't expect it. - “What was that for?”

“I just want you to get used to it.” - he shrugged – “I spent too many years thinking about whether I will see you again, now that you're here... and I can reach ya... touch ya... it's just... life's too short Robert, and I want you to understand what it means to me to have you back.”

“I love you, you know that right?” - said Robert unable to stop gazing into Aaron's eyes. Their moment was interrupted by Seb but somehow they didn't mind it. Their family was back together and for the first time since he was back, Robert felt like things were indeed going in his favour. Everything seemed lighter, and he was convinced that it was the start of something good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it, guys. For now at least. They're in a happy place, obviously, they have to keep working on themselves as a couple, and as individuals as well, but I think they're on the right track. 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this little something. If you did, leave a comment or just let me know, I always love any kind of feedback. I have other projects to do, so the next post shouldn't be far away. 
> 
> If you have questions, or just wanna talk I can be found: 
> 
> tumblr: susieskinner93  
> twitter: @tardisgirl93


	9. Bonus chapter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I was asked to update this so here's what's happened since the last time we left them.

Aaron woke up and even before opening his eyes he felt the urge to smile because somehow he knew that once his eyes will open his gaze will meet Robert's and that was reason enough to start the day with a bright smile.

“Morning.” - whispered Robert as he saw Aaron stir and Aaron could tell by his voice that he was grinning.

“Morning.” - he yawned as he turned on his side to face his husband. - “You've been up long?” - he asked as he rubbed his eyes.

“No. Just woke up 10 minutes ago.”

“And you've been staring at me since then? Weirdo.” - he said without meaning anything by it. Robert just chuckled. He couldn't not to. It was summer, Seb was off school, and they had a secret for the last couple of months. Just the two of them.

“Come on you love when I do that.” - he nudged Aaron with his foot.

“Creep.” - laughed Aaron. - “Did you think about what we're gonna tell Seb?” - he asked. Oh yes, the lies they had to come up with, in the past 5 months really, it was a lot. But it was necessary. Not long after Robert was more comfortable to go out on his own, and to walk into a crowded room, the subject of surrogacy came up again. It was on the table ever since he set foot in the mill again after his release, they talked about it on their first night together. And they agreed that once their lives go back to normal, they start again. That point came around February and it only took them a month and a half to find a surrogate. They didn't really have difficulties throughout the process, although they were worried. A bit too worried, and they went to at least 15 different meetings before they found a group they liked. But in the end, they got lucky and they were fixed with a woman called Laura. They just clicked, right from their first meeting, and they walked away at the end of that chat knowing that they found the one. They did the whole thing in secret. They didn't tell anyone. Not even that they were trying to get it sorted. Nothing. The family only knew that Robert was getting better, that their family was strong, and that Seb was a happy little boy. And both Aaron and Robert preferred it to stay that way. At least until everything was confirmed. But now the day has come when they had to go to the gender scan, and obviously they both wanted to be there. That meant that Seb needed to stay with Cain, or Chas or Vic, well literally anyone but them. Another lie they had to tell, but if they waited this long, another hour or two won't matter surely.

“Not really. Well, at first we have to tell something either to your mum or Cain, depends on where he's gonna stay.”

“Let's try Cain, he won't ask questions.” - said Aaron. Yeah, Cain was their best bet. They could just say that it's a client that Aaron needs help with, or that they're doing the weekly shopping. Whatever, Cain wouldn't try to stick his nose into their business.

“Good idea.” - nodded Robert. - “What about after?” - he asked – “When we get back.” - he said smiling.

“You mean when we're gonna know if it's a boy or a girl?” - asked Aaron grinning like a fool.

“I'm so excited.” - sighed Robert not being able to stop smiling.

“Me too. I never asked... d'ya want a boy... or a girl?”

“I don't care.” - shrugged Robert.

“Come on, that's rubbish. I know you do.”

“Well, no... it's... erm... I'm gonna be happy either way.”

“But....” - pushed Aaron.

“I'm kinda hoping... that it's a girl.” - he said finally.

“Really? Me too.” - chuckled Aaron. - “Not that I have a problem if it's a boy... no... because well Seb is pretty amazing and I'm sure another boy would be just as much amazing but...”

“The thought of a little girl...” - said Robert stopping Aaron.

“Yeah.” - he blushed.

“Especially with brown curls... can you imagine?”

“Laura is blond.” - pointed out Aaron. - “The kid could look like her for all we know.”

“No, I'm telling you now, our kid will have your hair, and your eyes, and god I'm gonna fall in love so quick.” - said Robert and Aaron's heart skipped a beat.

“Don't.” - he said as he brushed a tear from his eye.

“What? Being emotional already?” - asked Robert as he reached over stroking his cheek.

“I can't help it.” - smiled Aaron. - “I'm definitely gonna cry when we see the scan.”

“Yeah, I think I might join you.” - he chuckled.

“We need to get up soon.” - sighed Aaron turning on his back again.

“I know.” - said Robert checking the clock. - “It's still early, I don't fancy waking Cain up. We'll give it another hour or two okay?”

“Alright, the appointment is not until 10 anyway.”

“Seb's pretty quiet.” - said Robert. - “You think he's still asleep?” - he asked surprised because usually by this time they have Seb jumping on their bed, demanding breakfast.

“Well, you kept poor lad up all night.” - he laughed as he sat up in bed.

“What? No, I didn't.”

“Yeah, you did. Past his bedtime anyway. You're both as bad as each other. You kept going on about that tent you're gonna put up at the weekend.”

“Well you can't blame us, it's a good idea.”

“Yeah? Your back will thank you the next morning I'm sure about that.” - said Aaron as he got out of bed.

“Wait where do you ya...”

“Just the loo... and you can make me a coffee in the meantime because it's not only Seb you kept up half the night.”

“Oi, I seem to remember you quite enjoyed what we did.” - smirked Robert.

“I did.” - smiled Aaron as he looked back from the door. - “But I still need coffee Robert.. so... get on with it.”

“Alright moody.” - said Robert shaking his head – “I make you toast as well. Yeah yeah, the way you like it.” - he said before Aaron could interrupt him – “I make sure to burn them.” - joked Robert.

“Funny. I'll be down in two secs.” - said Aaron as he disappeared in the bathroom.

* * *

“I'm glad Cain didn't have any questions.” - whispered Robert as they cleaned up the table after their late breakfast. After their little coffee together they woke Seb up, got his breakfast sorted, then called Cain and arranged a playdate kinda kind for Seb and Isaac. Now Seb was watching telly, and it gave a few minutes for Robert and Aaron to have a chat.

“You know I think you should... go to the yard and wait for me there.” - said Aaron out of the blue.

“What? Why? We have to go in less than an hour.”

“I know... it's just... I have a feeling that me mum is a bit suspicious.”

“You what? Have you told her something?”

“No, she doesn't know... obviously... but I wouldn't put it past her to keep tabs on us.”

“You're not even joking.” - laughed Robert as he put the towel back in its place.

“Come on Robert, please. I want today to be perfect.”

“Why does today need to be perfect?” - they heard Seb's voice. He was on the sofa a minute ago and now suddenly he was standing there right in front of them.

“Erm, no reason, it's just...” - started Robert but before he could get very far Aaron helped him out.

“Nothing buddy, it's just your dad and I have a tough client to deal with today, and I want it to go well.”

“That's why I have to go to uncle Cain's?”

“Yeah, and to play with Isaac. Ain't it nice?” - said Aaron trying to make him excited about it.

“Yeah, I wanna show him that new car you got me.” - he smiled. Perhaps they bought him a new toy for no good reason, and now he went everywhere with it. He even takes it to the loo.

“Good idea mate, why don't you go upstairs and check if you packed everything?” - offered Robert and Seb went upstairs running. - “That was a nice save.” - he winked at Aaron. - “I didn't know you could lie that well.”

“Come on Robert, I had to say something.”

“I know. And thank you... because my mind was blank.”

“I saw.” - he laughed.- “I had to do something.”

“Good job one of us has a quick brain.” - he said kissing him on the lips for a brief moment. - “Alright, I'm gonna go.” - he said pulling away before the kiss got too heated.

“What?” - asked Aaron confused.

“It was your idea.... that I should go to the yard... or did you forget? You know I might take it back, you're definitely not the one with a quick brain in this family.” - he laughed.

“Oi.” - smiled Aaron trying to grab Robert's hand to pull him back. Robert let him. - “I'm just... it's just... I got a lot on me mind.”

“I know.” - grinned Robert. Aaron couldn't help himself, he had to kiss him. - “Okay, you should go.” - he said biting his lip. Just as Robert was about to answer Aaron's phone went off. It was a text from Laura. - “She says she's on her way.”

“What? Her appointment is not until 10.”

“Yeah but traffic and everything, and you know it's good to be there at least 5 minutes before.” - said Aaron.

“Look at ya.” - smiled Robert – “You're thinking about everything aren't you?”

“Shut up, and just go already.” - smirked Aaron as he replied to the text.

“Okay.” - whispered Robert softly. - “Hey Seb, I gotta go, but we'll have lunch together at the pub okay?” - he shouted as he grabbed his keys and headed for the door.

“Okay, bye Daddy.” - shouted Seb back. Robert had one last glance at Aaron and left. In about 3 hours, they're gonna have a family meal in the pub, and they're gonna have news to share. Aaron was never the kind of person to go on about how lucky he was, but right in that moment, he couldn't be prouder for how his life turned out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay, this was really really fun. I loved updating this little story, so cheers for asking me.   
> I hope you guys will enjoy this little something. <3


	10. Twins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron and Robert learn some very interesting information
> 
> Or...  
> twins

“Can you believe her?” - asked Aaron shaking his head still surprised as they got out of the car. They were talking about it all the way home and he still had no idea how she tricked them. They couldn't stop the smile on their faces and Robert just glanced at Aaron before he started laughing. 

“Two! Can you imagine?” - he said out loud before he hugged Aaron tight. They were still outside, Aaron was just about to get the keys, but Robert couldn't contain his excitement. 

“Shush!” - smiled Aaron as he opened the door. - “What if someone's gonna hear?” 

“We're gonna tell them later anyway.” - shrugged Robert too happy to care. 

“I know but... I want it to be just our secret for now.” - said Aaron a bit awkward as he stood in the middle of the room.

“You mean... you don't wanna tell them?” 

“No, I mean we're telling them that we're doing the surrogacy but we're not telling them the sex... or that it's two.” - he smiled before he bit his lip.

“Okay, if you want that...”

“Only if that's okay with you.”

“It's more than okay.” - he said kissing his husband. 

* * *

_They got to the hospital right on time, they met up with Laura, and soon they were called to go in. Everything was fine, they were standing next to Laura, and well none of them were experts in sonograms so they were just watching not knowing what it is that they were supposed to be looking at._

_“ So...”- started the doctor – “Do you wanna know the sex?” - she asked looking at Laura first. _

_“ They are the parents.” - she smirked – “They decide.”- she said looking at Aaron and Robert._

_“ Yeah.. erm... yeah.” - said Aaron clearing his throat, god he was nervous. - “We wanna know.” - he said gripping onto Robert's hand, who just nodded along. _

_“ What are you hoping for?” - asked the doctor but there was something in her voice none of them could place. They just both felt that it was weird somehow. _

_“ Erm... we... we're fine either way.” - said Robert obviously too nervous to concentrate on idle chat. The doctor gave Laura a knowing look and this time Aaron voiced his feelings. _

_“ What? Is there something we should know about? There's something wrong innit?” - he asked already terrified. Robert tried to calm him down by stroking his hand, but he knew why Aaron was nervous. They've already lost a child. Sure it was right at the beginning but it still hurt, and after it happened Aaron was extra precautious. He was checking up on Laura more than he should, but at least it kept him calm. He didn't know but Robert was doing the exact same thing behind his back. That was part of the reason they didn't want to tell the family. Not just yet._

_“ Nothing like that, don't panic.” - said the doctor with a bright smile on her face._

_“What do you mean don't panic? You can't say stuff like that...” - said Aaron already feeling emotional._

_“Aaron, look at the screen.” - said Laura pointing to the right direction. Aaron fixed his eyes on it, but he had no idea what he was supposed to see._

_“See, that....” - said the doctor touching the screen. - “That's baby 1. Healthy and perfect.” - she smiled._

_“Oh my god.” - said Aaron with his hand in front of his mouth. Robert stood behind him with his hands on Aaron's shoulders, gently rubbing the skin._

_“Wait... you said baby one?” - asked Robert. Now that they had the confirmation that everything was fine his brain allowed him to remember the rest of the sentence. Aaron looked at Laura who was pretty much grinning ear to ear, and Robert was looking at the doctor waiting for some kind of explanation._

_“Yes, I did say that. So... here's baby one, and this....” - she said moving the device a bit – “This is baby two. Congratulations dads. You're having twins.” - she smiled._

_“Wha... twins?” - asked Aaron looking at Laura who just nodded._

_“It's not a wind-up, right?” - asked Robert._

_“No, I can assure you there are two perfectly healthy babies here. Listen.” - she said before she turned the volume on so they could hear the heartbeats. - “Baby one.” - she said before Robert and Aaron could hear the fast rhythm beating – “And baby two.” - she said and after a while, they were listening to the second baby's heartbeat._

_“Robert.” - said Aaron with a broken voice as he turned around to face his husband. Tears were already streaming down his face._

_“I know.” - whispered Robert before he hugged Aaron kissing into his neck._

_“Sorry to keep you in the dark, but I wanted it to be a surprise.” - smirked Lura. - “And you can find out the sex as well I thought it would be the perfect time to learn about the twins.” - she said._

_“I... I don't know what to say.” - said Robert. Aaron was still speechless, wiping the tears from his face with the sleeve of his shirt._

_“You're not mad are ya?” - asked Laura looking at Aaron directly. He only shook his head as he reached out his hand to hold hers for a second._

_“So, can we move on to the reveal?” - asked the doctor excited._

_“Yeah, yeah, let's see.” - sighed Robert as he held Aaron's hand in his._

* * *

“A boy.... and a girl.” - sighed Aaron still not quite believing it. - “We're gonna have twins.”

“And we're gonna have 3 kids running around. It's gonna be a madhouse.” - laughed Robert.

“I can't believe it.” - said Aaron before he looked at Robert. He had this soft expression on his face. - “What?”

“It just hit me.... we're gonna have a little girl who's gonna look exactly like you.. and... and a little boy who's gonna go with you to the scrapyard like Seb did, and ….” - he stopped suddenly, voice choking. - “I love you so much.” - he said before he pulled Aaron into a hug.

“We're so lucky.” - said Aaron with his face pressed into the crook of Robert's neck.

“We are.” - answered Robert and Aaron heard him take a deep breath.

“I know we promised Seb a lunch at the pub...” - started Aaron, and if Robert was right he was blushing. -” But I really want you now.” - he said biting his lip – “Is it wrong?”

“What? That you're excited for our babies? No.” - smiled Robert stroking his cheek. - “I'm so happy Aaron.” - he laughed freely.

“Me too.” - whispered Aaron before Robert pulled him into a kiss.

“So... how about we go upstairs, and have a little celebration of our own? Then we can go and get Seb and have a chat with the family.” - suggested Robert.

“Sounds perfect.” - and perfect it was indeed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay, guys, this was so much fun! <3
> 
> I'm not saying I'm never gonna get back to this, or start a new fic based on this scenario because that's definitely gonna happen. 
> 
> until then, stay safe, and read fics :)

**Author's Note:**

> I hope my anon likes it. Sorry, I couldn't get everything done quite as you wanted to... it just felt right to go with it. I'm up for writing chapter two though if you want to.


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